Hi all..
This could be a long one.
For years I've suffered chronic pain and severe headaches and vertigo (which I have an appointment coming up with a neurologist for) and at 1st put it down to my job working with horse's, it got to the point I was in agony so hubby and I agreed I would stop working to see if to helps. Needless to say it didn't and I finally found a doctor willing to listen and I've now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis (in my spine) so i now have an explanation. I'm just so down on the diagnosis though. I'm now not allowed lift anything heavy etc yet my whole career is lifting and handling 500kg+ horses it's literally all I know I love and breathe horse's. We are struggling financially hubby is trying to support himself, me as his wife, my 3 kids who I down receive chikd support for 1 as her dad has passed away and my younger 2 as I have an exemption due to severe DV and of course he pays child support for his 2 kids. He is doing all he can work wise takes extra shifts, then comes home and takes over housework I can no longer do. He is literally exhausted but we can't afford for him to take time off he uses his annual and sick leave for if he is sick, for me when I literally cant move from pain or to take care of all the kids if they are sick his work let's him use annual leave so we save that for those times.
I want to go back to work but it's looking like it won't happen so it's stuck on hubby to keep going, I would be eligable for maybe $30 if I go on jobseekers with medical exemption but that just won't help and while his child support isn't a lot we are left with enough to pay rent and put fuel in car and buy a little food, family tax pays for everything else on instalments which don't cover any of our bills. This is the worst I've been financially we were a 4 figure income family when I worked full time and now we are a 3 figure income family struggling to even pay rent. I'm scared and feel so bad that I often feel hubby should leave he'd be better off. I've had people say do courses but with the fibro fog I have more often then not I can't even remember where my keys are if my kids or hubby don't put them in the same place each evening, I can't remember appointments if not written down... I couldn't learn anything new because information doesn't stay in my head for long. I'm not sure what I'm asking I guess just wanting to hear from others how they deal with life like this?
Thanks all
2 Replies
Stop feeling guilty, you’re sick, he’s stepping up.
There are many single mums, myself included, who do it all alone, work full time, kids, I’m sure you help out when you can, which is more than a lot of us have.
Since your income has changed, you’re probably going to have to reassess your lifestyle, like most of us had to, living with one income.
I truly hope you start feeling better, but I think you need to stop feeling guilty, it will make your illness worse.
Give yourself a year to just heal, your illness is a terrible one, give yourself a break. When you have energy, do shit, as I’m sure you are and when you need to rest, do it.
Listen to your body, your husband isn’t doing anything that a lot of others aren’t, youLL get through this. He’s obviously an amazing man who loves you very much.
Sending you light and love xxxx
I've been a single.mother I know very well what it's like but chronic pain isn't even a comparison to how hard it is...
My husband is exhausted he doesn't stop from 3:30 in the morning until anywhere between 9 and 11 at night. I don't know any other husband's on the go like that. We have reassessed our income in a big way and unless child support take in that he has to support us come the end of the year we will be homeless as my daughter finishes high school so we will drop income further by $250. We are worse off then I was as a single mum of 5 so that makes i5 harder again. I've been told year to 2 years before I can work but I've decided to go back part time at least because I'd rather deal with the pain then see hubby sink back into depression or end up crashing his car from exhaustion :( I just don't know how anyone does it especially when partnered I never struggled as a single mum it was only us and njo government body deciding other dependants don't matter. It's a depressing world that had I know how it would go I would never have remarried.