I love being a Mum. I have four kids aged between 12 and 2 months. I homeschool the oldest two. I love every second of it and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I think it’s the most important job in the world.
A few people around me think I should want more.
I’m not interested in travelling (I never have been) I don’t want to concentrate on a career while the two youngest are so young. I have a few hobbies.
If I enjoy my life and what I’m doing then I don’t see a problem but they tell me I need more in my life like I’m wasting my life away. I don’t understand what it has to do with them and why they can’t just believe I’m happy with my life.
Just because they need more in life it doesn’t mean I do but they won’t stop trying to make me feel guilty for being happy and content with my life.
Does anyone else love being ‘just’ a Mum?
23 Replies
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being content as "just a mother" but I do think important to not lose yourself along the way.
I have a friend who's been a devoted stay at home mum for 15 + years. Her youngest is now at school fulltime and is pretty independent. It's hit my friend really hard, because outside of her kids she feels like she has no purpose or fulfillment. She's very displaced at the moment and it's really sad seeing her that way.
So maybe people aren't trying to guilt you, maybe they're just concerned for you down the track once your children are grown?
I completely agree but I don’t think I’ve lost myself at all.
I still have hobbies I enjoy and friends I just love my life being a Mum 🥰
I too am content being a mum.
I find the judgement super interesting..
I get a lot of judgement because I have my children in a lot of extra curricular activities... I don’t understand why it bothers other people so much.. if I’m happy to do it...
They only get one childhood.
Most people don’t have the luxury of being just a mum and it’s super important to have a back up plan.
Husbands die, affairs, divorce and kids leave home. You got to be prepared even if you think you’ve got an awesome partner. You’ve got to be prepared and be preparing for your next stage in life.
We no longer live in a world where Centrelink will pay you I definitely because your partner died and the biggest rising group of homeless numbers are women who have raised there children and then found themselves single.
So while you may love what your doing, you need a back up plan. The longer your out of the work force the harder it can be to get back in it.
I do have back up plans, savings and a career to fall back on if something happens but this isn’t what this post is about.
This is about my happiness at this time of my life and them thinking that being a Mum just isn’t enough.
Different commenter....I don’t know what career you have to fall back on but honestly, years out of it, no professional development, you’d be crazy to think you can walk back into it. Things change, qualifications change, the world is evolving, just don’t want you to be disheartened when you go back and things aren’t as you expect.
I think it’s beautiful you love being a mum, by the way, but just as important to have your identity away from that. I enjoy it too, it goes way too quickly, it’s such a beautiful journey ❤️
Maybe some people worry you are losing yourself and just want the best for you xxxx
If its a just for now thing, you would be looking forward and developing yourself. Or at least having a long term plan. This being for now is fine, but thats all it is, the above poster is right.
I understand exactly what you’re saying.
This is my own business and I can in fact walk in and out of it and still be just as successful as before. I know this because I’ve done it before.
Just right at this moment I don’t want to concentrate on that part of my life and enjoy my babies while they’re still so young.
Well youre fine. You have a brand new baby, and 3 other kids and a homeschool, of course home is where you want to be right now.
I wonder if the home schooling is for the kids benefit or for you?
Just something to consider.
Part of our job as parents is to raise independent adults that can thrive in the real world.
I’m in my 40s and my best fiends are till those I went through high school with, couldn’t imagine not having them in my life. They were there when I was developing into an adult, know me better than anyone. Jut food for thought....
I started homeschooling because my oldest had a medical problem and could see how much she benefited from it. My son loves it too.
They can do a lot of things most kids their age haven’t experienced yet because I’m bringing them up in the real world not just behind a desk.
My kids also have plenty of friends they spend time with. Kids their own age, older and younger.
I’m sorry about the medical problem, hope everything is okay.
Sounds like you have all bases covered but you might be spread a bit thin when homeschooling all four, also navigating year 11 and 12 would be hard, are you considering transitioning some back at some point?
Year 12 chemistry, physics, yikes, wouldn’t want to tackle that.
Not wasting your life, but it can be unhealthy to identify just based on being a mum. What about you? Are you only you in relation to them? Thats going to be unhealthy for you all, thats what people worry about. But then you need to stop a lot of things to be a mum, its a hard balance. You want them to grow to be independent, not feel indebted to fulfilling your self esteem.
I also have a friend who says all she wanted was to be a mother, and also keeps having babies before learning to drive, upgrading her living situation, being able to afford them, building any kind of career. From the outside looking in, it seems shes scared to do those things and even try, shes 'happy being a mum' but also having more kids isnt making it any easier. So to me, no, thats not healthy at all.
Yeah, that’s not healthy.
My youngest is my last, I’m happy with the four I have and have absolutely no intention of having anymore.
I can drive and we can afford them so personally that’s not a problem for us.
I worked my bum off before having kids too.
I have to say then that i find it strange that enough people have this concern enough to tell you. You have a newborn baby for gods sake. Nobody should be expecting anything else from you right now. Or perhaps did they think/hope the kids would go to school when bub came along? I just dont know.
I love being a Mum, but I love having a career, super and a house etc too. Work makes me a better mum 😌 To each their own 😌 we all have our own goals, ambitions and priorities. My nan was a doctor, my mum a teacher. I grew up with women who had personal and professional lives 🤷♀️
Absolutely nothing wrong with being a mum or homeschooling!! There are soo many of us out there especially since covid! Keep doing you as long as you’re happy! It’s no one else’s business!
I feel this to my core. I mean, i work under 15 hrs a week for the money. But my main priority is the kids and just being a mum. I also have hobbies and interests and haven't lost myself. But I adore being a mum and I am mum first and foremost.
I think the people who judge the most, are possibly those who struggled with the transition of being a mum. Or dont have kids and don't understand.
I think you’re amazing. I love being a mum too and have been lucky to raise my kids without having to work full time. But I will say I struggle a lot and I think there is SO much pressure on women now to do everything/ be everything. So good on you. You should feel good for loving being a mum. It’s not an easy job 😊
I fell into a retail assistant job at 18 because I never knew what career I wanted to do. I am now 37 with an almost 3 year old and an 8 month old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. For now I am happy being a mum, watching my children grow and learn. Being a mum is my greatest achievement
Firstly.. if you are happy then you need to ignore them or set them striaght. I love being mum also but I love to travel with my kids and travel as much as I can with them. I am
Happy being mum and traveling. This is my life and no one else’s. I have also learnt that other people are envious or jealous and will always have a dig or criticise me in everything thing that I do. Honestly I don’t care what other people think or say because I am happy just me and the kids doing our thing and if it bothers other people or they aren’t happy for me in doing what makes me happy then they aren’t in my tribe, I distance myself and cut them off because I don’t have to explain my life to anyone. I pay my bills and look after my kids and until someone else does then I owe them no explanation what so ever. I don’t get why people are like this. We are all different and have different interests and hobbies and loves in life and that is ok.
The same people are actual probably very envious and have some guilt of their own because they do not spend as much time with their own kids and just maybe they are trying to off load a bit of their own mum guilt for not doing what you do because it’s pretty bloody amazing! it’s not about you. It’s about them. The same people who probably leave their kids day in day out at child care or with other people. I think they are a little envious because they don’t and probably wouldn’t cope if they did. Good for you!