My son attends a private Catholic school.
We have a had serious case of bullying from the second day of term one. He is in year 7. I have been up to the school non stop to try and have them put a stop to it, but seems they are doing absolutely nothing about it. It's not just one kid it's the whole entire class. It's the name calling, a handful of students hit kicking and pinching. Police can not help me, I have spoken to deputy principal and year advisor on multiple occasions and it's bear impossible to speak with the principal as there is always an excuse as to why I can't speak to him. My son is hard to get to school, is saying things about suicide is going to the best pysc, Are there any parents out there who can give me some pointers in the direction of getting the school to act upon this rubbish, or anything at all.We are in nsw
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21 Replies
It boggles my mind that you’ve continued to subject your child to bullying instead of removing him from a school causing him mental distress.
When attempting to get a meeting with the principal always put it in writing and email is usually best.
Cc the principal, teacher, administration and someone from the education department so they’ll pay attention to you.
Otherwise you have no proof and it’s all hearsay. Face to face meeting are crap unless you have an advocate or a support person with you anyway.
I’d be pulling my child from a school rather than letting them be bullied especially if other schools are an option. If you’ve moved your child previously for bullying maybe your child is the issue?? And you need to investigate further.
At the end of the day the only way to deal with a school that is this disinterested in your sons welfare is to change schools.
There is no way I’d be sending my child to that school ever again.
I tend to agree with the above - pull him out already!
Does he have friends at other schools in the area? Send him with mates!
They are not interested in you. They are not interested in your child.
Pull him out. Go have a look at a few schools in your area. Do what's best for your child's mental health.
I was bullied non stop in yr 7 and 8 and the private school (like $20k+ pa) had NO interest in helping me. I was physically assaulted and other kid wasn't even punished because "he was a bit upset that day". After 2 years, my parents finally had enough. I was 13 and planning to end my life. Thank fuck it was before phones and social media was around.
I’m reading all about what the class is doing but very little about your son. What’s he doing? How are his social skills, where is he struggling, how can you help him deal with these situations, what other therapy might he need. I hate to be devils advocate but a whole class of bully’s? I do t think moving him will change anything until you get to the root cause of the issue
He isn't doing much, he loves to learn, always asking questions, has great social skills is a social butterfly. He is always kind polite and willing to help, all his teachers have said he is a great student and said the above. He doesn't fight back always walks away. The class bullies him because he comes from a farm life and they are not.
Not the OP but in my case, it was literally the whole class, hell, year level that ganged up on me. It was one of those K-12 private schools and I was the new kid starting at the start of Year 7. FUCKING awful. Sometimes pack mentality sets in and it's impossible to break.
There was a girl at my school who was bullied by almost everyone, not even just by the people in one specific class or even people in her year level but the majority of kids in our whole school gave her grief at one point or another. It all culminated by about 60 girls surrounding her on the netball courts and throwing dirty sanitary pads at her.
She was quiet, studious and from a different background - that was the only motivation.
So I don't for one second find it hard to believe a whole class of kids is capable of doing this to someone for no good reason.
I do agree pack mentality is horrible. This has blown me away as majority of the kids in his year they all went to school together from primary school. Up until beginning of this year they all were friends got on great
To those who say change schools, we live in an area where we have a choice of 2 high schools where he attends or a public school that has the police at the school every day to deal with threats of stabbings and violence non stop, it doesn't have a great reputation at all. We can not pick an area outside of us as our schools are all zoned and won't take out of area kids. His friends are all at this school and there are no other issues outside of the class group or when out for lunch and morning tea.
He is the only one in the class that doesn't have any of his friends in it. We have never had an issue of bullying with him before.
Pull him out of the school. Why keep him there?
Pull him out and put him where? It's already stated there is only 2 options a school with high violence or private school. Most schools these days don't take out of area/zoned children because of numbers.
At least he’ll learn resilience in the school with Violence. Are you in Kalgoorlie by any chance (it’s the first place that comes to mind) . Do you have the option of sending him to a boarding school or are you too close to town limits to get the BAHA and AIC payments? I know parents that have sent their children to the next boarding school along the coast over the private school in Kalgoorlie. If it’s a possibility both boarding school options in the coastal town are very good and the bigger public school has been very beneficial to my child.
Shes in NSW as states in her original post, and I'd be so sad shipping my already bully damaged child off to boarding school it could potentially be so much worse, i think its a terrible idea, but your suggestion is no less valid than mine.
I'd first try home schooling with after hours extra curricular activities in clubs and sports where friendships are more closely formed so he is still seeing ppl.
Give him the day at home the day he has that class? Tell the teacher helldo it from home so send the material.
I will never understand parents that say their child is suicidal but keep on sending them to the place they hate. Show them solutions, the world and their life is bigger than a school class.
I read in the replies that it's only happening in one of his classes. It may be difficult this late in the year but is it possible to tweak his timetable to get him out of that particular period with those kids?
I remember when I was at school, there was always at least two classes for a particular subject and I was at a pretty small school.
Other than that -
Get everything in writing. Follow everything up in emails so you have a paper trail of your correspondence (or lack thereof).
Call the office/admin and ask for the email address of the teacher who's class this is happening in and ask them directly why this is being allowed to happen in their classroom and what they plan on doing to rectify it.
All else fails - go above their heads. Contact the education department and I believe there is an association that manages all the Catholic schools, I'd be in contact with them too.
Just as a side note. I went to "that" school, the one with the horrific reputation, the one people automatically turned thwir noses up at.
By the time I graduated, there was about 10 kids in my year level who'd moved from the local, very prestigious private/religious schools because of the very same experiences your son is having. So make of that what you will.
Agree. Never count an option out when youre looking for solutions. Its important to teach your teen that the world is bigger than that class or school and they can simply move on. They may feel less stuck and doomed if they know theres an alternative available too it may help them get through staying. Viewpoint is very important when being bullied.
You have answered this yourself. . . Change schools.
OP here, we live in a very small remote part of NSW we have the option of the public school which doesn't have a good reputation violence amongst the students, teachers have a don't care attitude and never stay long, yes we looked at this school before putting him into our only other option being where he is a private Catholic school. His dad and I are both shift workers and work opposite shifts. We are only in this location for another 6 months before we move. I would prefer not for him to go to school and stay home, but he also refuses to change school, even though he is hard to get there he doesn't want to change.
No because he would have low self esteem, possibly depression, he doesnt want to do anything or go anywhere, he probably imagines its him, so everywhere will bully him and he wants to hide from the world. He can be on board with a solution, but he cant steer the ship on saying no to everything.
I would think there would be an online capability setup since the lockdown. Explore that. You could just let them know hes on mental health leave for a month while you sort this out.
Also, there is a distance learning school. Fees are even waived for certain reasons like anxiety (I suppose youll need a paed to sign off the forms) but thats another option. Explore ALL of his choices and get him on board.
He does NOT have to leave. Its very possible things will change eventually, or he'll make enough friends that he wont be devastated by the persistent assholes. Theres also only 10 weeks of the school year to go. Make a calendar and count that down. Create things for him to look forward to. Treats at the end of each week or hard day. Hangouts with friends. Give him 10 days off that he can take whenever he wants. Also if he chooses to stay, make sure that goes hand in hand with doing a shitload of work. Self esteem, friendships, social circles, checking in daily and of course keeping up contact with the school and reassessing the situation.
Contact your local diocese that oversees the schools in your area. If the school won't act go above their heads.