I have two "tween" aged daughter's.
I honestly could write a book with all of the nasty shit they're endured over the last 18 months.
There's too many instances to rattle off individually but we're copped everything from cattiness and bitchiness, exclusive behavior, lies and rumors, name calling, manipulation, mocking, physical threats and intimidation.
These things have varied in severity from sort of mild once offs to straight up bullying.
Naturally, I have gone to the school to sort many of these issues. They "talk" to the girls, things see a slight improvement for a brief period but it all goes back to normal before we know it, the only difference being that it becomes sneakier and more strategic.
I can see that its really beginning to take a toll, my younger daughter finds it upsetting but for the most part, she just takes it in her stride.
My older daughter is really starting to get down on herself because of it though, she's always been pretty resilient but this has all slowly chipped away her at her confidence piece by piece.
Changing schools isn't possible at the moment, I've looked into it. Homeschooling or distance ed isn't either as I need to work to keep a roof over our heads. Even so, this seems to be an issue at every school. I have a few friends who are teachers aids who have mentioned that this is a big problem at their schools, I have a couple of other friends with daughter's the same age who are facing the exact same thing!
I don't know if this is more of a vent than a question, I just can't fathom why pre teen girls feel the need to be such assholes!
My teen aged son never went through anything remotely like this.
5 Replies
Girls are effing horrible! And it starts so young. I have two girls and god the things they come home and tell me makes me want to pull my hair out. Is it possible to put the girls into some kind of self defence? Not to use it on anybody but more of a way to build self confidence.
They really are! It takes a bit to shock me but some of the things have left me gobsmacked.
Some sort of self defense definitely on the cards when all the local programs are up and running again. Thanks for the suggestion 🙂
Girls are the worst. I know I was on both sides of it as a child (I was definitely a victim in primary school and I certainly don’t think I was innocent in high school).
It starts, from the way adults talk. Commenting on what people wear, excluding people who don’t ‘fit’ kids see it and witness it from mummy who wouldn’t never raise a bully’. Yet they see it, all the time. All the praise about how cute a little girl is versus praising achievements and personality, we set out girls up to be like this.
It’s taken me a long time to see how as a society we’ve shaped this behaviour and I’ve been working hard to change how I interact with my nieces.
are you sure your girls arnt being bitchy to though? It usually go both ways. Not many innocent tweens and teens out there anymore. They have way to much freedom especially on social media and gaming. I have to make sure I’m checking both my tweens phones daily, I pull mine up if they are saying or doing the wrong thing, it’s horrifying what some girls come out with, I just try explaining it to mine and teaching respect ect. Just keep doing what your doing we have a long road ahead with high school :(
Some girls are exactly that, sneaky and really nasty. But there are nice kids. Encourage your girls to find the nice kids, make their close friends and stick together and stand up together. We recently had an issue and myself and my daughters best friends mum worked together to help our two girls not fall out, and not be angry and sad at each other, and be aware of other people sneakily causing them troubles. Theyre stronger now but that little biatch nearly broke them up. Its a lot easier with friends.
And if they are supposed to be her friends, then its time to find other friends.