Hello looking for advice on how you get permission to move 2.5 hours away with kids from my ex? We have to move for my husbands work and don’t know how we go about this? With kids involved? I am not trying to take the kids away from there father but it is important we have an income. I am willing to do the driving to bring the kids back for visits.
39 Replies
It’s will depend on what sort of agreements you have in place now. Are there any court orders in place?
Hi no court order at all. He sees the kids every second weekend and a week on the school holidays.
Hi no court order at all. He sees the kids every second weekend and a week on the school holidays.
Court orders or not, you can’t move that far with out his permission
I think a 5 hour round trip every 2nd weekend is a lot to ask of the children.
Yes it is 5 hours every 2nd weekend. But will my ex pay for everything when my hubby has no job?? I don’t even get Childsupport so highly unlikely.
The maybe your hunny needs to go and get a job and the kids stay with their father
Maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself 🙄troll
Question asked on a questions page, but doesn’t want opinions
😂 troll
So you think her kids should stay with their unemployed Father do you and suffer a life of poverty? Is this what you would do? Poor bloody kids. There are other ways he can still see them if they work out a happy medium. She never said she wasn't willing to compromise.
Mum is also unemployed
Exactly and No mum isn’t unemployed actually!
Well the way you have worded it comes across that you have to follow your husband because it “important to have an income” which makes it sound like you have to follow him because you rely on him for financial support. Either way wether the children’s father works or not doesn’t matter. He is their father, you have to ask permission. What your husband wants means nothing when it comes to children that are not his. Why can’t he get a job closer, that way the kids don’t have to move away from their dad. But you sound like a very angry person
Dad would get single partner pension, child support, ftb, could pick up work. So no the kids would be destined to be poor. Or is only okay for a mum to Clemson those things?
You sound like a fool!!
Look at the angry person calling the poster and angry person. Some really deep seated personal issues going on there, I think this posters post has triggered some unresolved issues of the angry woman who called the posters answers angry. There was nothing angry in her responses but there is in yours. I hope whatever has set you off , you seek help and closure for.
yoi just have to face him and ask them have his agreement in paper. If he doesn’t agree take it to court and ask the judge. But In reality it’s not his problem your new man has to move. Why can’t he get a job closer?
It’s not my “new” man together 9 years!
The time you have been together means nothing. They are not his children. You need to either ask your children’s father permission or petition the courts
We did this 6 years ago. I just gave him a letter with all the details (new address, schools, reasons). He was rude about it but didn’t stand in the way of it. The children did monthly visits and maintained school holiday visits until they were 14 plus working and taking a weekend off per month was not feasible. You have to do what you have to do to provide for your family
You are so lucky. I moved, with his permission. But I was silly and didn’t get it in writing. As soon as we left he took it to court and I had to cover the cost to relocate back with the kids.
Just ask him, you might find he doesnt want most time and you having them every second weekend, which would be the alternative, so he'll say ok.
First port of call is ask him.
He might be reasonable, don’t lawyer up until you have spoken to him.
Good luck.
A five hour round trip is nothing. Meet half way. Then you’re only in the car 2.5 hours each. If it’s only every second weekend and a week every holidays he shouldn’t contest it. But do approach him and ask permission and if he says no start mediation and then petition the courts to relocate. You can represent yourself to do this.
Nothing?that would wreak havoc on kids doing that regularly.
Takes me over an hour to get my kids to sports and to do the shopping multiple times a week. My kids do just fine being in the car for long periods of time. If your kids are good travellers then it’s a non issue. If you’ve got crap travellers then that’s your issue and not anyone’s problem except your own. The travel is a non issue if it’s every second weekend and one week of the school holidays. My kids spend 2.5 hours in the car in a day just to do a town trip 🤣
I don't have kids that are bad at travelling.... But it takes a toll on everyone if it's frequent.
1 to 3 times a week.... my older kids do it less as they’re at school. But my youngest enjoys town trips. It doesn’t wreak havoc or take its toll on anyone except the person driving and that’s me. I’ll do anything for my kids. I know people who do the same drive more often than I do. They do it for work, they do it because they have to. A 2.5 hour drive twice a fortnight is not going to hurt OP’s kids. It’s not going to hurt OP and if they can co parent her moving isn’t going to stop her from taking her kids to see their dad as she’s the one moving. If it’s a condition of her moving that she does the driving then she should just do it. But if they can work it out so they meet in the middle even better.
Why doesn't your kids dad pay child support?
Can't pay or won't pay?
Lucky for him paying or not paying, child support has no connection to being able to spend time with his children.
Very correct lots of parents get off Scott free don’t they? Get to see there kids but don’t have to pay a cent towards there upbringing.
Mum and dad might be similar incomes?
Very correct lots of parents get off Scott free don’t they? Get to see there kids but don’t have to pay a cent towards there upbringing.
Wouldn’t say Scott free, debt accumulated and when they lodge a tax return you get that. Lucky we live in a country where people don’t have to pay money to see their children. And I say this as a mother that receives zero for two children and his debt keeps getting wiped because he has been assessed by child support unable to pay.
Well the law is whether they see them or not they should be paying. If they earn an income, they legally should provide . My son is 15 his bio dad expects to see him and does, in the last 13 yrs but yet pays nothing. He has two other kids he pays for , and he owns 2 houses, a boat, 2 huge cars, takes constant holidays, has a well paid job, but won't pay for his oldest, our son, just because he doesn't live with him. No matter that i have struggled at times. I've recieved $0 in 15 yrs from him.
There's a difference between refusing to pay, and simply can't pay, and if it's due to refusal, they shouldn't be allowed to see them. Only reason my son sees him is because my son wants to so i allow it.
What do the kids want to do?
I would just speak to him.
Be willing to do the driving (Although he may be willing to meet you) and ensure you remind him that you're not planning on changing the amount of time they spend with him.
Takes me 5 hours a day to drop off and pick up my 3 kids from their schools every day 🤷🏻♀️
Involve him in choosing a school etc, don't make him feel like an outsider.
Also make sure you involve the kids in the decision making, he's more likely to disagree if the kids aren't happy about it.
While I don't agree with moving so far from their dad, if it is for work and will benefit your family I think you will be allowed to move.
Write your ex a letter and outline whst you have said here. Add in that you are willing to do the travelling and I agree with a previous poster about asking him to help pick their school