Sorry thid might be long. I am at my wits end at the moment. I have a amazing 3 year old who I love so much but I am struggling to the point I don't know of I can keep going. She is well behaved for everyone except me I really feel that she hates me. I have to fight with her to do anything from eating to brushing her hair, she does not listen to anything I say. And I know everyone keeps telling me its just the age she will grow out of it but I really don't know if she will. She will have full screaming meltdowns and hits and headbutts me for hours if she doesn't get what she wants. I do what I can to punish her but nothing works. Her father is away working often and she can be naughty for him but nothing what she is like for me. I can't take her anywhere as with in 5mins she is screaming and wanting everything. I have tried to talk to other people bout her behaviour but my family think that I am weak and just let a Toddler rule me, nd daycare always just tells me how well behaved she is. Why is she so naughty for me i feel like the worse mum in the world all the time and I am so embarrassed to even look at my nabours as they have to listen to her screaming all the time. And I can sometimes hear them talking to each other near the fence about her screaming and that how they feel bad for her. I have thought about getting her tested to see if we have missed something but everyone just tells me that I need to just deal with it as she is fine and I just let her walk over me. But I don't and if all I do is punish her how will she feel safe to express herself around me. I don't know what I am doing and am to the point that I feel like shot 100% of the time. I wish I got to spend more quality time with her like others get to but she just won't let me we do have our good times but not without a fight or tantrum. Sometimes she will just look at me and scream mum at me and won't let me pick her up or put her down (if that makes sense)
2 Replies
The thing is toddlers do need boundaries. If they are the boss it actually scares them, and, well, a three year old doesn't make the best choices and so their emotions get out of control. They do need loving boundaries. And those are hard to enforce at first if things are changing.
Try staying at daycare for an hour or two. See if that helps either of you. Youll learn from them and she'll probably behave better, giving you a chance to be together in the way you want.
Try a circle of security triple P parenting class.
Also, she could be missing dad, very busy at daycare and just super tired from holding it all together all day, and you are the safe space that cops it all. Try being gentle and kind (but you can still say no) let her off brushing teeth and hair for a night and just give lots of cuddles, dont expect her to be away from you. Also try to spend a rest day together, again with nothing that really pushes her, just doing easy things, having simple fun and relaxing, she might need it.
A reward system I believe works best for all ages. If you need any more advice please feel free to pm me personally on Facebook