How do you go about making couple friends?
Hubby and I are in our 40’s and have been together 20 years and now our kids are in their teens we are finding we have more time and would like to start going out more and hang out with friends as a couple. Only problem is we don’t have couple friends that we both like to hang out with and feel at ease with. I have a great group of girlfriends and he has friends who are all gamers that don’t seem to want to leave their house and don’t have partners (relationship breakdown and one is a widow). We have tried to hang out with each other’s friends and their partners but there’s no connection for at least one of us.
When I met hubby in our mid 20’s it was in the UK where he had lots of friends, we went out a lot and he was very comfortable with making new friends, confident in his familiar environment. We were very social. 2 years later we moved back to Australia where he never felt comfortable with my friends but he made friends easily at work and again we were very social. Fast forward a couple of years we had babies and my husband was the stay at home parent until the youngest started school and his work friends he made when he first came to Australia dropped out of contact as they were younger than us and not at the same stage of life as us. He now works part time in an industry where his colleagues on average are in their 20’s or early 30’s. Although he has lots of fun with them he feels like the old man so he is reluctant to initiate outside work friendships. I have tried introducing him to my work friends and their partners but although we had a nice night my husband didn’t want to meet with them again. Over time he has preferred to stay home (not the social animal I first met).
Fast forward to today and he acknowledges that it would be nice to have couple friends and is willing to make an effort to go out more. It’s just we don’t have friends to go out with. So what are the options to meet couple friends other than what we have already tried? He is not interested in making friends with the parents of our kids sporting activities. Now that the kids are in high school we don’t have the opportunity to make friends with parents and the friends we made in primary are either single parents or moved away. So I’m thinking maybe we need to join a club which will be difficult finding one we are both interested in. He is a gamer and says he hates small talk but he does it for his job so he knows how to!! Anyway, sorry for long post - we are open to ideas and options and would love to hear from you!
6 Replies
We have friends that range in age from 15 years younger than us and 30 years older than us. My parents are the same. If you have fun with them, what the problem?
I think your hubby is going to have to get over the age thing and stop putting restrictions on where he is happy to meet people.
I agree. I think he probably has a bit of social anxiety or lost his social confidence and just making excuses. I’ll keep persisting with him and his work friends but still look for other ideas to get him out being social!
There is almost 14 years age difference between my husband and i ( me being the older one) and our friends age ranges are vast. If there's a connection with others then their age shouldn't matter.
I agree. I think he probably has a bit of social anxiety or lost his social confidence and just making excuses. I’ll keep persisting with him and his work friends but still look for other ideas to get him out being social!
My hubby used to be social, but not anymore.
He has pleasent small talk with the husbands but no real friendship.
His really good friend has a wife, but they bicker alot. I prefer not to be around them together.
We leave it at that
If the two of you were going to go and do something, what would it be?
Identify a mutual interest, then seek others with the same interests.