My son is having a birthday party. He invited lots of friends but doesn't want to invite my best friends son's. They used to be friends for about 4-5 years but grew apart. My son is only 11. I feel awful not saying anything because they have always been invited of his birthday party. He is adamant he doesn't want them there and said it would ruin his party. What is the right thing to do? I can't hide the party because we see each other all the time and we would know.
11 Replies
If he doesn’t want them there then don’t invite them.
I would like to say something beforehand so she knows about the party but I don't know how to say it without hurting her feelings.
Your profile isn’t private I can see you name and pic. Just thought I’d let you know. It’s only in this comment tho.
Thanks for that. I just deleted my photo not sure if this makes it private. I couldn't see anything else that I could change.
Names still showing......... when you post a comment there is a little box underneath that you need to tick to post anonymously
" he's invited school friends/ club friends and not little Billy this year. Sorry, just wanted to make sure you know so you know its not personal between us"
Nothing to say. This is just kids growing up. Just because the parents are close doesn’t mean the kids will be.
I would not expect an explanation and I’d find a friend mentioning weird.
If they don't go to school together and you wouldn't invite your friend normally, no issue. But if they have friends in common or you would normally invite your friend is be saying x is a family friend and invited. There's a line between kids growing apart and learning to manage a variety of social situations. I has a family friend who was a social outcast. Still played with barbies in high school. She came to everything at our house, my birthdays included. My friends knew that she was a family friend and whilst they and I had nothing in common with her, they were expected to be polite and inclusive when in our home. It ended up extending to school too. She wasn't our friend, but people knew not to bully her in front of my friends or I. I'm glad my mum didn't let me exclude her. Being inclusive is a really important lesson. I was never made to interact with old friends who weren't family friends though.
You let your son invite who he wants to his party. There must be a reason he is saying they will ruin his day.
If it means that much maybe suggest having a seperate dinner with the other kids and your friend, and explain that he only wanted school friends there.
Personally- a family friend is a family friend. I’d tell him to suck it up. They’re like family to me, and I’d consider it the same as not inviting a cousin 🤷♀️ Not a popular opinion judging from the rest of the comments
Just say you allowed him to have a school friends party this year and maybe invite them for a family BBQ instead.