I need help in some way (not sure how).
My husband makes me stressed, anxious and depressed. I have little to no motivation to do anything after we argue. He has good intentions with trying to help me stay on top of the house and look after the kids but the way he goes about it is abusive (verbal, physical (not very often but still), emotional). If I don't take on board or agree what he says he gets very angry. We live in Vic, so this year has been tough.
There's an IVO where he's allowed home but not allowed to commit family violence. He's done a couple of dads help programs, he has a psych, is on anxiety medication (this has helped a lot but not so much anymore and he's on the highest dose).
We have a couples counsellor that we've only seen once so far, it took ages to find someone with availability. I also have someone I think she's a family counsellor but is going on leave soon so I'll need to find someone else.
How can I make him see that what he's doing is the problem and making things worse? He won't hear me out when I talk about studies, articles or personal experience (pages like this) when it doesn't align with what he's trying to say.
I don't know what else to do I'm so close to the end and a week between our appointments feels like an eternity. I want to already see the couples counsellor through but if that shan't work is done we feel like we need to give it a go but the time inbetween the apps is torture.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
5 Replies
Just leave already! U should have left along time ago by the sounds!
I always encourage women to seek counseling first because in some cases it absolutely helps. But if your in the group where it hasnt helped , and you have still tried with counciling then the only thing left to do is move on from him. Its hard to do when you are used to your life, but with change comes so many amazing opportunities.
I had a husband exactly like that. Had. Leaving was the best thing I ever did
He doesn’t want to take on board differing points of view, so he won’t change his behaviour and therapy for him will be pointless because the therapist will be wrong in his eyes.
Keep getting therapy for yourself and it’s time to go your separate ways. It’s telling that you can’t even make it a week between appointments.
Think carefully,
My husband and I went to counselling for a few things as we had a failed business, his family are literally life suckers, different cultures, fifo worker, the list goes on....
We went to a recommended marriage counsellor and all she kept saying was, my husbands Asian background was to blame and he’s well within his rights to treat me like shit basically as he knows no better, not much advice for me as an Australian women,
Went twice and said no way am I going back , and if he thought the way his dad treated his mother was acceptable etc, I’m happy to sign the divorce papers, he changed his tune, and we’re still together weirdly enough!