Cousins bullying/hurting

Anon Imperfect Mum

Cousins bullying/hurting

My nephew is 3, and my daughter is 18 months old, every time we go to their house to visit them my daughter ends up getting hurt (intentionally by 3 year old nephew) I'm lost at what can be done as my sister doesn't discipline him or correct the behaviour (she ignores it completely) and I find myself trying to step in even though I know I shouldn't be as he is not my child, I am worried for my daughter's safety when we visit but I am always getting told that my nephew loves to see he's cousin and wants her to come over and play. Is this normal for a 3 year old? What can I do so that he won't hurt my daughter anymore? Is there something that can be done to improve this situation?
Any advice would help

Posted in:  Behaviour, Kids

4 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

A 3 yr old can't bully. Bullying is intentional ongoing torment. A 3 yr old is much more likely to react due to verbal limitations or cognitive limitations relevant to his age. You need to supervise and intervene as appropriate. You can't make a 3 yr old the problem!!!

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Anon Imperfect Mum

It's not bullying. Its a little person that is too little to understand how to be gentle enough for a baby. Just stay with them and keep her safe and don't over correct him just help avoid the dramas so they can play together without her ending up hurt.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I actually disagree with the first two comments, three year olds can be bullies!
I used to work in childcare, I had a few kids over the years who would deliberately pick on/hurt/target other kids (often littler kids) and not in a typical toddler reactive way, it was always done very sneakily and calculated (waiting until they thought staff weren't watching for example).

Nevertheless, you can and should step in when it comes to your child's safety!
I don't care who I offend, if another kid is doing something dangerous or hurting my kid and their parent doesn't take the appropriate steps to right that situation - I sure as hell will!

I personally would limit visits, family or not, I have very little tolerance for people who ignore their kid's bad behavior. Your sister doesn't see that this is behavior that needs to be rectified so the situation is unlikely to change.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Sorry I think you are the precious mother of one child. When you child is a little older or you have another you will realise how ridiculous this comment is. 3 year olds are just learning how to interact with others and if you make a big deal out of it your daughter will end up being one of
Those kids who cries at the drop of a hat. You say she is being hurt? I’m assuming your reaction is to pick her up put her on your knee and make a big fuss over it. I would instead say to your nephew stop doing that she doesn’t like it and encourage your daughter to keep playing.

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