Just a B##CH SESSION
Our boys f**k every family holiday, and I'm exhorsted. My partner us currently sitting on th sofa, given up on packing the car, because they can't do anything with out beating into each other. Back chatting, making stupid noises, not listening, and the list goes on. W can't even have a nice drive with them, as even when separated, they find ways to annoy each other and get on every ones nerves.Master 10 has adhd but even medicated with conduct disorder he's got me at my limits, and master 9, is in the middle of assessment for adhd, and asd, and he's just as bad with out the rage. I'm tired and just want to leave them with family and go with out them. My partner has given up, doesn't look like he has any motivation left. To pack quickly master 10 has packed clothes 3 sizes to small. I'm done, I don't want to take them anywhere. We avoid going places because of them.
(They are in counselling, therapy, in sports, see peads regularly and other kinds of help)
10 Replies
Yes, I get it. It’s hard. There are times with holidays I thought it wasn’t very relaxing at all. And the fighting would drive me NUTS.
BUT I got to say, your expectations sound high on your kids packing abilities. Set your life up for success. Why does your kid have access to clothes 3 sizes to small? Why are you trusting him to pack? Allow loads of time to pack so it’s not so stressful. I literally get my son to pack the day before, which I supervise. We start early so it’s calm, and gives me plenty of time to supervise. We even have spare toothbrush so I don’t have to pack them last minute. Bags are placed at the door so we are good to go.
He shares a room and wardrobe with his brother. I had a list of what to get like 2 jumpers, 2 long pants 2 shorts and so on, then bring their clothes out to me to check before it's all packed. I filled their wardrobe 2 days prior but he "had no clothes" he just wanted to play the play station and tablet.
I remember my Aunty reaching over to the back seat, grabbing my 2 cousins heads and knocking them together after hours of them fighting and carrying on in the back seat! I know by today's standards it's abuse but by God it was the funniest, most satisfying thing to happen on that day! They didn't like us all laughing at them so we had a pretty quiet trip after that 🤣.
I really do feel for you, my kids have given me grief at times and I've stopped on the side of the road and refused to move until they all shut the fuck up and left each other alone!
Omg i just laughed so hard at this! 😆😆😂😂😂
It sounds hard, but are you making the situation any easier? Why does 10yo have access to clothes that are 3 sizes too small?
They can't process a lot in one, they are about to go on holidays, they are trying to process it. Let them stim and have their time..
Set out a chart. You need to pack 3 x undies, 2 x tshirts.
Pack toothbrush.
Favourite teddy.
Pillow.
A jumper.
A pair of thongs, a pair of runners.
Then set out more on the chart.
Put bag into car.
Grab ipad or ipod and make sure it's charged.
Making lists is going to make their lives and your lives easier.
Breath, relax, enjoy the holidays!
I gave him a list of what to get, like 2 jumpers, 2 short sleeve, 2 long sleeve and so on, a basic list, and then I'd then I'd check their bags. He and his brother share a room and wardrobe, so he just took his brothers clothing. I have lists for everythi NG from how to get ready for school to packing/unpacking the dish washer.
Sounds like you need a breather. You need some special time to get back to basics with your partner.
Just quickly, how did your son get the clothes that are too small for him? Did he go in someome elses drawers?.
The boys share a wardrobe and room. They had a list of things to get, so I could check it all before 8 I packed th car.
You know that your kids have difficulties with attention, it would have been easier for you to pack their clothes whilst you give them a task that they can do. I know the kids are in counselling etc but maybe you and Dad need to go to your own. Parenting is bloody hard at the best of times, so adding the complexities of special needs makes it even harder. You need a place where you can make sense of it all, grieve for the life you had and the life you dreamed of as a parent. They're all normal feelings. I think it's important for you both to get support.
I feel for you as my kids were and are the exact same! I’ve lost friends over making holidays so awful 😞 My only advice is try to get on top of the issues while they’re young because we didn’t and are now dealing with a physically aggressive 15 year old who now refuses meds for his ADD and a 12 year old who literally has to fight back every day! 18 year old left as soon as she left school to get away from it all. It’s an absolute shit show and makes life miserable. Do you have anyone you can leave them with (even separately) so you and hubby get time alone? Do it if you can as you’re going to need to be United if it gets harder as they get older. Good luck 🤞🏻