Is this situation wrong or is it me? What do I do?

Anon Imperfect Mum

Is this situation wrong or is it me? What do I do?

Is this situation wrong or is it me? What do I do?

- dad is 36 years old.
-son is 15 yrs old.
-son brought to dad's a 17 Yr old female friend who was experiencing mental health problems.
- 17 yr old 'threw' herself at dad and they proceeded to have a sexual relationship.
-this went on for a few months with this young woman going in and out of adolescent mental health ward.
-I recently found out and pulled dad up and said that it was wrong and he has displayed a pattern of behaviour that is concerning (this is the third time something similar to this has occurred with women under 18).
-dad does not see anything wrong with this and says I am too uptight, conservative and prude.
-son now struggles with friendships and is fearful of dad doing it again.
-younger son will be entering high-school and I fear dad may do it again.

This is the tip of the iceberg. I have tried to keep it simple and factual with little emotion.

TIA xxx

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Mental Health, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour, Teenagers

17 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

The behaviour is very wrong, and disgusting. It’s predatory of, young immature vulnerable women. It may not be illegal, but it is gross and disgusting. It’s borderline setting up his boys to provide ‘new blood’.

If they are your boys can they live with you full time?

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Anon Imperfect Mum

They are not my boys. 15 yr old lives with mum and the younger son lives with dad.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Def wrong! I would not be bringing any female friends home again if I were your son.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

16 - 17 is the age of consent in most Australian states. So what he's doing may well be within the confines of the law and that's probably how he's justifying it.

What I'm sure he's not seeing is that this is morally questionable and honestly fairly predatory. There's a huge imbalance of power between a 36 year old man and a mentally ill 17 year old girl.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

The age of consent is 16 HOWEVER if the girl is between 16-18 her sexual partner can only be 2 years older than her or it is considered statutory rape. Also considering the age gap, that she was in need of accommodation and her poor mental health the police definitely need to be involved. Considering you say he has done this before it’s extremely alarming. You really should not sit on this info. You need to tell the police about him.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Following copy and paste is for WA I imagine it's other states too. He took full advantage of her vulnerability and used his authority over her to his advantage. Sick man

"When you are 16 years or older, you can have sex with another person aged 16 or older if you both agree to it. However, it’s a crime for a person who is caring for you, supervising you or has authority over to have sex with you while you are between the ages of 16 to 18."

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Anon Imperfect Mum

So bloody wrong. If not for the age gap and the issues there, he needs to think about the way his kids see him. Never ever ever put yourself sexually in the same ring as your kids. Disgusting.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Gee, you wouldn’t like me being 46 with a partner of 24 then 🙄

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I dont care at all, if youre the same as the OP described and you think that resonates with you, then you called it.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Pretty sure the person above is saying the age gap is wrong because the girl is a child still. Your relationship is with an adult...stop nitpicking

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Anon Imperfect Mum

There’s a difference between a young person with mental health issues hooking up with a 36 year to the age gap you describe. You are warped if you think this situation is normal.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I question 'of sound mind' here to provide consent. The 17 year old sounds very vulnerable and at risk. Dad is a sick jerk and no one is being a prude. Is he that bad he cannot find a woman his own age who will tolerate him. I would strike right at his ego and would be suggesting he may need counselling as he obviously has issues.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Exactly. Or meet any other 18 year old without them being friend of son or friend of son looking for help, gets that adult cracking on instead. The fact he can't and that it only happens in that situation should tell him his kid's involvement in it is part of the dynamic, which is gross.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Yer that’s creepy!!! Get the poor son away from him. How awful and embarrassing. What a creep 🤮 the poor son, I feel for him.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Wow what a sicko!! What if he is actually manipulating son to bring these girls home for him without son even realising.!! This is sick. Son needs to cut ties with the creep and distance himself from him. what a sick man and awful situation for this poor son. try get him away from dad. Poor son.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Absolutely filthy and he is a pig for doing this to his son. Your son is old enough to decide the type of relationship he wants with his dad. I recommend having him see a therapist.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Your dad is a peadopile and is statutory raping these young ones...took me a long to accept the label my father was, he was a good father and could be a good person but he had mental health issues too and even at a very older age he thought he was a stud and could sleep with young people still

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