My 6 and a half year old ADHD cannot stand to lose. He cries, carries on, cheats, storms off and refuses to play anymore... I don’t know how to help him. He’s struggling to keep friends at school.
We’ve tried talking about it, modelling good losing, rewarding good reactions to a loss (so he can do it), team sports/games, occupational therapy... we’ve been aware of the issue and trying all these things for at least 3 years to no avail.
He has regular OT and psych appointments.
Any advice appreciated
TIA
3 Replies
Hes still very young. Just dont have him playing unsupervised, so at school he can be told football is out of bounds and to choose something else to play or if every game winds him up then he should be in supported play, where a teacher manages and helps and practises with children like this.
I have 3 boys, my eldest doesn't have a competitive bone in his body but the younger 2 were like your boy. They are teenagers and no longer sore losers but I don't even know how they stopped. I think they just mature enough to realise carrying on like a pork chop is embarrassing. One of my boys couldn't even play board games without wrecking it for everyone if he lost. We find it funny now and whenever we play a game now I remind him what he was like and he denies it. Just keep modelling the right behaviour and tell him what his behaviour looks like to others, sometimes they don't realise what they are doing which is why the old fashioned way of dealing with tantrums can work a treat ie. Get on the ground and tantrum too 🤣
My 10yo was the same. It was shocking, and embarrassing. He soon realised once he hit school age, other kids wouldn't want him on their teams. He's quite athletic and picks up sports better and faster then most kids his age. He's now older and medicated for his adhd, odd and conduct. Although he is still short fused he has more control over his emotions and he's built better friendships. His only issue now, is playing against people who aren't up to his level, he has no patients for people "learning" how to play. Because he wants a challenge.