Baby !!
So I'll keep this short and sweet . I've got 2 beautiful kids aged 5 and soon to be aged 2 .. I can't shake the feeling of a third ....pregnancy and me don't mix well I'm in and out of hospital I'll as all hell , and birth well they have to be prepared when it comes to me I bleed alot clots and all and also only have one option which is water birth due to my allergies that's the safest option it's so they don't touch me unless need be which water birth is amazing . But what holds me back is this ...... I have a 80% risk of of my baby being born with the same as my other kids which one kid out grew it but spent 4 years sick as hell in and out of hospital and on permanent antibiotics the other ended up with surgery , another thing holding me back is my little soon to be 2 year old he is full on he never sleeps it's a quick half hour nap and up again and that's of a night time day time he doesn't nap at all it's been like this since birth it's crazy so I'm always run down ...... So without going on and on and telling you more what's better ???? Hold off on a baby till left settles which could be god knows when !!? Or..... Have baby 3 and get the tough years over and done with 🤣🤣. I'm actually stuck on such a simple choice please be nice and help mamma's cause I'm stuck I want to know if there is any of you that have felt like this due to pregnancy and labour difficultys , due to issues with your baby's ... Like I'm not asking for a do or don't do it but I'm asking what's easy I guess what would U do . I definitely don't know if I could cop living in hospital none stop again but hey there is always that chance that baby number 3 won't have these issues 🤷 help a stuck confused mummy
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
12 Replies
I would hold off. Honestly, it sounds like a lot of already on your plate and then add in having to go into hospital and not feeling well through out the pregnancy.
Unless you have A LOT of family support or a partner who can take time off of work (coupled with what’s going on in the world at the moment). If you will be relying on family support to get through the complexities then you owe it to those people to make sure they are on board with being up with your 2 year old all night while you are in hospital etc.
I think this is a big discussion and you really need to have a game plan over who will do what when you do go to hospital and not think it’s all just going to work out.
Just so I've understood your post properly - you have a history of pregnancy complications severe enough to hospitalise you, a history of high risk deliveries, a high possibility of your baby being born with health issues and a 2 year old who's pretty high maintenance?
I'll be very honest with you in saying that right now doesn't sound like the optimal time to be considering another baby in my opinion.
I actually have decided not to have more children for health related reasons and because one of my children was/still is very full on (and she's nearly a teen). I personally felt I'd rather live with the longing of one more child than potentially sacrificing my health and sanity.
Well its a solid hell no for me, so the fact you would even consider it says a lot. I would definitely get things in order to be as prepared as can be, and when you think you could do it, you could.
Not sure I'm reading this on a good way or bad way 😬🙂 says alot about the poster in a good or bad way ?? I understand where she is coming from I actually feel very sad for her but sometimes we just have to move past these things
Take it however you take it, I dont know if she can handle it or not. I dont know how serious or likely the worst risks are. I think she should reflect on why shes even thinking about it right now. I would think at least spacing them out and not trying to do it while you have a toddler would be the better option.
I will say the sickness I suffer is horrible the amount of drops I have due to being so dehydrated and baby number 2 I ended up with a torn abdominal muscle I was so lucky I didn't need surgery to fix that which was a big worry straight after giving birth the other complicated thing is my iron levels which lucky enough I didn't need a transfusion after baby number 2 . Thanks for the advice . Maybe it's better to just try push that want aside . It's sad and hurtful as I'd love to complete my family my chances are low even tho I'm only young sadly this is life I was lucky enough to conceive the kids I have maybe it's just time to move on ..
It definitely sounds like this is something you need to put aside.
I also think changing your mind set might help. Your family is complete how ever it is now in the present. There might be a time where you add to it, but it won’t be missing something if you don’t.
I know that might sound like semantics, but how we talk really effects how we feel.
You sound like an amazing mother. Put that energy into the two you have. There’s a lot at risk if you went for a third, and it sounds like you have a lot going on already.
I would personally work hard on changing your mindset to consider your family complete and what you can offer them now by it only being these two.
Also you say you’re only young. Why not wait until the youngest is at school and is sleeping through and then decide. Doesn’t mean no, just not yet.
Keep going!! You’ve got this.
Give it a few more years and re asses when it’s less chaotic and easier if you were hospitalised during pregnancy.
I couldn't do it to myself or my family, to be honest, no matter how much I wanted a new baby. What if you became temporarily or permanently disabled from it, or worse, died from the complications? What if your new baby didn't make it? I believe your responsibility is to your family who are here. If you're that desperate to add to your family, look into gestational surrogacy
I only have one, you learn to appreciate what you have.
Change your mindset to, my beautiful family is complete.
Someone I used to know had 3 children and heamorraghed after each one. Her first was still born so she went for number 3 to complete her family knowing she was going to heamorraghe. I thought it was really brave of her and I admire women who go through complicated pregnancies for their child. I personally think though that you need to put yourself fully in your Doctors hands if you choose to go through with this. I notice you say you want a water birth and you don't want them to touch you, I just think that's the wrong attitude to have if you know you are going to have complications. You need to let your Dr take control or don't plan on having a third as you will only put yourself and your baby at unnecessary risk. As for the hereditary condition I think you're the only one that can answer that. You have already lived it and handled it, you need to ask yourself if you can handle that again in a third child.
Thank you love . My first birth I exploded as they didn't listen even tho my allergies were on my paper work and everything they didn't care they did a stretch and sweep which I went into labour and couldn't fit my pinky finger up there many doctors I've seen since said they should never of let me give birth naturally due to how swollen I was down there . Baby number 2 is when the doctors and midwives said waterbirth is my safe option its so no one with gloves touched me but also so I didn't come into contact with anything that would set my allergies off ..my midwife was beautiful she had me test so many gloves and they had stuff on standby so if they had to touch me they could give me stuff to help the reaction straight away . Round one was a horrible experience but round 2 in a different state and different hospital they went above and beyond to make sure they were ready . We had no clue that I even bleed lots with my first baby untill my midwife for baby number 2 got my records the hospital where I had my first are just horrible I would never ever have a baby there again it caused so much fear my second they had everything ready to go I Remember my midwife jabbing the needle in my leg once he was born and pushing my stomach while I was holding my baby to get clots out . I know I have so many issues but none have ever been so server that I could lose my life as I have had that chat with doc and midwife . But it's still so much to go through.