My highschool boy was caught messaging in class on his laptop - he swore in the message about a teacher.
I was completely shocked but he owned up to it . So no point in sugar coating it
I have removed all technology from him ( phone and computer ) and any privileges he has . He has apologised and shown remorse according to teacher .( I haven’t seen him yet )
My main question is
*He is in a private school - not sure if that matters
*He is year 8
*First offence
*Excellent school reports
*such a help to me at home as he is the eldest
* I’m so upset /ashamed / feel I failed with him
He has received an in-house suspension
What are the long term consequences from this and any tips on how to deal with this when I collect him today
10 Replies
There are no long term implications unless he continues to get suspended. A suspension is just a suspension.
It won’t impact his future.
Hopefully this is just a blip on his record and he can move on from it.
If this is the worst thing he ever does as a teen, you've done a magnificent job! And really, who hasn't at least thought about sending a profanity filled vent text to someone about a teacher or boss who was pissing them off 😂
I don't think I'd make a huge deal honestly, let him cop his suspension and probably just have a chat about using respectful language in future or at worst, say nothing if he can't do that.
Meh, he sounds like a good kid, he's already owned up and apologised. It's no different to passing notes. Don't dwell on it too much. There aren't any long term consequences for him, as long as once he's served his punishment the school do not continue to treat him poorly or bring it up.
Everyone makes mistakes. A conversation about keeping language respectful toward others might be in order. It also depends on how the swear word related to the teacher in this instance - if my child used swear words to hurt or demean someone I'd be more upset than if she used it in a different context.
I honestly think the school punishment is adequate here and possibly a little over the top..
Apart from a conversation re:kindness and never say anything about anyone in writing! in my house I’d let this slide..
I doubt there will be any repercussions however... some teachers may be a little more sensor to his behaviour so he may need to be in his best behaviour- some teachers can hold a grudge!
As someone that works in a high school, this is very minor. There are many schools that wouldn't even have done anything about it so it's good your school has done something it means their standards for behaviour are high. I think he will be fine as long as he stays on track, it will probably show up in this semester's school report but after that it will be fine.
I feel like a detention probably would have sufficed here, an internal suspension seems a tad drastic to me but that may just be because I went to a school where teachers were routinely called c**ts and told to get effed directly to their faces with very little consequences for the students responsible.
Your son took accountability, he seems to have been sincerely remorseful and apologetic - that in all honesty is quite mature for a 14 year old boy. I know some adults who aren't capable of that!
I think his school punishment along with a chat from you is probably enough. I'd just say something along the lines of "Im a little disappointed that you were directing bad language towards your teacher but I'm also proud that you owned up to your mistake and tried to make it right. I hope you learned something from all this".
Sounds a little like my high school!hehe
I'd have challenged the suspension personally. I get that messaging during class time isn't paying attention and using profanity regarding a teacher is inappropriate, but it didn't disrupt class time, he's a good student according to you, demonstrated his remorse according to the teacher and didn't direct the comment at the teacher. Is there a code of conduct re use of ICT that kids are informed of? Are the potential consequences overt? This seems excessive for a private message to another kid...
You are way over reacting he is a teenager been a teenager. Were you never a teenager. To feel ashamed ect. Is a bit much. He was venting about a teacher to mate. If that is the worst thing he has done that's pretty good.
I went to a private school and I think my punishment would have been the same. An in house suspension isn’t as big as it sounds. It’s not something that he will carry with him forever so don’t worry. Do the punishment and move on and it will all be fine!! He sounds like an awesome kid!