Help!!! I’ve had a few meetings with my 4 year olds Kindergarten Teacher regarding my child pulling her pants down with another boy in her class. It seems to be the same boy that she’s caught pulling her pants down with. I know it’s normal curious behaviour but now my daughter is coming home saying that the boy is touching her vagina and calling her into secret hiding spots like cubby and under blankets at kinder.
The kindergarten teacher is aware and there is a supervision plan in place for both children.
I’ve spoken to my daughter about her vagina being her private parts and that they aren’t for others to see and that if someone does ask to see her vagina then she needs to tell a teacher straight away and tell the other child that it’s not allowed
Hubby wants to move her Kinder but I’m confident that it’s normal 4 year old behaviour and will happen at other Kinders too
Does anyone have experience with this? How did u stop the behaviour? Will she just get over it when we stop giving it so much attention?
14 Replies
This isn't normal child behaviour..?
I'm surprised that as mandatory reporters you and the other family haven't been reported to CPS.
This isn’t normal behaviour at kindy! Yes kids do explore/get curious but once caught they don’t do it again. This sounds more persistent and on going rather than a once or twice incident.
I’ve worked in kindy and daycares and it’s definitely not a behaviour that occurs on a regular basis.
I’d move your daughter. If it’s continuing to happen they are NOT supervising the children appropriately.
Move your daughter.
I would move your daughter too. If this is still happening and there is supposed to be a supervision plan then what is the teacher actually doing?
I’ve had 2 daughters in kindy and they have never done this. They have snuck a peek in the shower at mum or dad but it’s just curiosity and they stopped when asked. I’m not sure that persistent and secretive touching of your daughter’s private parts is normal.
Perhaps you can contact Bravehearts which is a child protection organisation.
No its not normal. You explain personal private zones and you tell rules and you tell clear options when rules are being broken.
1. Say no. 2. Say no Firmly. 3. Tell a teacher.
She could choose not to be with him at all. You could make that a rule now already. No playing wifh this child at all. And you let her know there will be consequences for her if she is the one initiating it.
You take a firm approach with kindy. Not 'its normal lets just see' and you agree they need to watch these two like hawks to protect both children. You need to be more concerned for your childs safety.
This is not normal, this should not be happening, if there is a supervision order why does it keep happening. Pull your child out, warn the other girls in the class Mums and tell them what’s happening. Its not ok and my child would not be remaining in that class especially if it’s happening over and over again.
Not normal!
This is not normal at all!
Maybe the first time can be put down to curiosity but it’s continuing to happen even with a ‘supervision order in place’ ?
Your husband is right! Move your daughter to another kinder. By keeping her there you’re accepting that sexual behaviour is ok. I know their small kids but there is NO way that this is ok as normal experimenting
Not to flog a dead horse but no, this extent is not something I'd categorize as normal!
Your nonchalance about it actually kind of bothers me to be completely honest with you.
Also, as someone who's worked in that industry, I can personally attest to the fact that what you have described most certainly does not happen across the board at all kinders/preschools/daycares.
This is inappropriate and has repeatedly been an issue. Please dont try and rationalise this.
I'm with your hubby on this one. The staff clearly aren't taking this seriously enough if you've had to have "a few" meetings about the same issue and their supervision plan obviously isn't working.
When my eldest was 3 he informed me that they play nudie games at school. I hit the roof and told him that no one was to touch his body and he was not to touch anyone else’s body. He sat and listened to me and when I calmed down, he said they don’t touch they lick. Yet again I hit the roof and told him it was not to happen. The next morning I spoke to his daycare teacher, letting her know what I had been told, who was involved, and where it happened. The whole 3-4 year old age group were involved in a discussion about their private bodies and not letting others touch or do other things to them. The tunnel where the game was played had increased supervision, and was soon moved into the babies playground as it wasn’t always possible for a staff member to be nearby. My son didn’t come home telling me about nudie games again. The teacher and I regularly checked in with each over the following weeks to ensure it wasn’t still happening. I also had ongoing discussions with my son and his younger brother about private bodies and not letting others touch them, adjusting what I was saying in age appropriate ways as they got older.
It sounds as though the teachers at your daughter’s kindy aren’t supervising properly if it keeps happening. I work in daycare centres doing relief work, and it’s not that hard to encourage children to play with others if there is an issue between two children.
That’s not normal at all and your husband is right. Contact child services and speak to them about this child also to lodge a report so they can check if anything is happening to this poor kid. It’s not normal so get that out of your head. The kid is learning it from somewhere. Be her voice and seek some help or Atleast lodge her name with family services, so it’s on record and they can also attend and speak with her.
Sorry but I’m very concerned that you think this is normal behaviour. It most definitely isn’t and if you are serious about the safety and well being (which I’m sure you are) of your daughter you will get your her out of that Kinder and also maybe into some counselling.
There’s a book called only for me! I think it’s a but strange that this is happening in a school environment at their ages. Doesn’t seem normal.
Not even slightly normal. I'd do whatever you have to do to not send her back there for even one more day. I think you may be confused about normal behaviour, because sometimes children do display curious behaviour. For example, one time when I was four, a boy (also 4) and I looked at each others private parts. It was one time. It was a two second glance. And it never happened again. That is normal curiosity. What you are describing is something completely different. It's repeated over and over, despite instructions not to and supervision. They are trying to hide it. It's moved to actual touching. What you are describing is not curiosity. It's sexual assault. Your child is being repeatedly sexually assaulted by someone who has likely themselves been sexually assaulted. Take off the blinders and protect your child.