I don't know what else to do and am seeking advice from the Sisterhood
My 16yo daughter has completely gone off the rails and is on a fast road to destruction
As a brief background:
For the first 10 years of my daughter's life, she was reared by my husband (not her biological father), however after my marriage ended, the relationship between my ex and my daughter fell apart. At the age of 10, my daughter met with her biological father and all went well for about a year before both decided that it was not a healthy relationship.
At the age of 11, my daughter was sexually assaulted in a shopping centre and the case went to court and the perpetrator got off on mental health grounds.
From then, my daughter's behaviour has become progressively worse and she has tried on numerous occasions to end her life by overdosing.
Both my daughter and I have sought whatever help has been offered and tried everything suggested, however in the past year, she has rejected all help.
I am a single mum and live with my daughter, however we are constantly butting heads over the simplest of things such as feeding the dog or washing the dishes.
In the past 4 weeks, my daughter has left our home to go and live with her friend and family. She now rarely attends school, I believe she is drinking, smoking and is sexually active. She has access to a month's worth of depressive medication at any given time which means she can overdose if she wants (I monitored access to her meds when she was at home).
She sends me on occasions nasty messages, has tried to break into my home to take my stuff and is burning any form of relationship with family.
The family she is living with have absolutely "no care factor" with the mother consenting to her daily truancy (along with her own daughter) and encouraging her bad behaviour.
Because she is 16, she cannot be forced to come home or go to school and the other mother is trying desperately to cut me off from any form of responsibility (ie guardian status).
I am at my absolute wits end. I love my daughter so much. She needs help but I don't know what else to do.
It's only a matter of time before she burns the relationship with her friend, at which time she will spiral down again and attempt to take her life. The family don't know her history and may not be there to save her as I always have been.
Please, please, please help me
Advice on my Daughter's Destructive Behaviour
Advice on my Daughter's Destructive Behaviour
Posted in:
Behaviour, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
Poor kid. My daughter left home at 16 so I know how helpless you feel.
What I strongly suggest is put the weapons down. Stop butting heads with her, don't let every conversation be a "You have to..." "You need to...". Just completely wipe the slate and pretend she's another adult when you're talking to her. Don't discuss school or her future. She may not be acting like an adult but this is how she wants to be treated and if you want her back or at least know where she goes next you need to somehow change the relationship you have with her.
You probably already have done this but messge her and say the door is always open for you. I am here for you when or if you need and I support your decisons.
Hi anon, I'm commenting from someone who has sever trauma and now have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and this most definitely sounds like it! Please do research on it and see if she meets the criteria for it. And unfortunately there's a lot and I mean a lot of stigma around this disorder unfortunately!