I'm so confused!
Iv been with my husband for 16 years. He is a good dad and provider. And has been a good husband . He goes through periods where he is just feral and it can last for months, and then he will just snap and be normal again. Iv lived like this for 16 years. Everything that happens in the relationship and family life is my fault. He has been mentally, emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically violent . Iv just simply honestly put up with it.
But my eldest is 9 , he is showing signs of disrespecting woman . Talking roodly to me, being violent to his siblings. The list goes on. Dad has also started being violent with him, slapping him, spitting, kicking, grabbing him by the throat . Also verbally as well and the language isn't much better.
I have a meeting with school this week to let them know what's going on. What do you think they will do about it?
10 Replies
What do you think you will do about it? Dont you see you have to ?
Yes I know but I really do want to know what the school will do. I have to tell them as someone at school already knows about it
I don’t think we should tell you what the school will do because ultimately, you may be scared into not talking to them.
I would suggest you find a way to remove yourself from the situation ASAP, find refuge elsewhere before someone gets wind of what is happening :) you and your son deserve sooooo much better xxxx
I want to know what the school will do , that is why I am asking
What if the school takes action to protect your children? Are you more concerned about losing your relationship that its going to take outsiders to protect your children. Will you lie to keep them from being protected?
No I will not lie to protect the dad . I will always protect my children. That's why I am doing this. I want him to have a wake up call. I want him to improve and give him that chance .
Okay well first and foremost, they will contact CPS. They will probably come and do a welfare check and possibly talk to your son at random at school when you are not present.
If you decide to stay with your husband, you risk losing your son because you had openly admitted he is abusive towards your son so by staying with him, you can be seen as an enabler. So leave him asap before you have your son taken off you.
Leave the fcker! This is domestic violence and he’s teaching it to the kids.
He is not a good dad or a good husband. Good dads husbands aren’t mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically violent. This is domestic violence and your children are exposed and learning from it. He is physically abusing and assaulting your 9 year old son and your son is probably wondering why you’re allowing this to continue. Please leave, it’s not too late.
I was your 9yr old. My mum was you. She never left so I learned there were 2 types of people in life. Victims and not victims. I chose to not be a victim. Which meant, of course, I became a perpetrator of DV.
Despite all the work I've done to better myself, I can't take back the things I've done and they haunt me. I'll never forgive myself.
To top it off, once he divorced my mum he murdered his girlfriend.
Don't do it to your son. He's not bad - he's learning bad.
If he doesn't learn better now the statistics aren't in his favour to learn better later.
And you ALL deserve to be safe. Don't look at the good times. The school is a mandatory reporter. You need to see this as a good thing because they are your first step in the right direction. It's going to be so hard, I won't lie. It's not going to be as hard as your kids growing up without mum because dad killed her. It's not going to be as hard as watching your kids grow up with the victim/not victim mentality. It's definitely not going to be as hard as watching them learn better later in life (if they're lucky) and see that guilt crush them everyday.
Sending strength your way. You CAN make a difference.