We need help!!!
Sorry as this is long.
Our 6 year old has just been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, ODD and Anxiety.
I believe ASD due to sensory issues and learning difficulties and the way the meltdowns happen.
She has always been definite for as long as I can remember but we noticed the last year or so more so.
If she doesn't get her own way she has a meltdown, if we don't do things properly for her its a meltdown, if we break routine it's a meltdown, if her shoes aren't tight enough it's a melt down etc etc.
Simple things like asking her to turn a light off can lead to a meltdown as she says she can't do it and we say yes you can and walk her to her room to turn it off.
Now these meltdowns aren't just a stomp and scream like she is bashing us, we have other children and they are crying everyday because of her.
We have tried the good old smack, taken things off her to the point she only a bed and clothes, stopped electronics, stopped friends coming etc etc.
You name it we have tried it!!
Yes even reward charts, special time etc as spoken with from her clinical psychologist.
Now the paediatrician has prescribed her Dexamfetamine half a tablet but then we had other paediatrician say a whole one. I believe they are making her worse. Her tantrums are more violent.
She doesn't care who she hurts.
We are at a stand still. Like I'm seriously wanting to put her up for adoption because our whole household is on edge waiting for her next tantrum to happen.
She has no much angry when she has a meltdown that she physically hurts us when she punches, she moved her loft bed off the wall in a rage, she flips furniture etc
Now when she finally calms down she is great and then is like relaxed if that makes sense.
We have even let family watch her for the weekend and of course she was perfect but as soon as we got home it's one of the biggest meltdowns ever and for lnow reason really.
I'm sorry if this is all over the place as I'm just really at a lost.
Has anyone else experienced a child like this?
Any other suggestions before this family is torn into pieces.
I have other paediatrician appointment this week but it's a phone one.
I use to be a fun, loving mum and person, now I stay home and cry all the time. Only time I go out is work and even then I'm thinking how I can help her or when her next appointment is etc
3 Replies
Sounds more like the symptoms of really high anxiety to me. Which is common with those diagnoses. Extremely short fuse, very low resilience.
I sounds like you are missing specific parenting strategies that work for your daughter. I’d be seeing a child psychologist who has expertise in challenging behaviour. Not a psychologist who sits and chats to your daughter but one who can give you specific parenting strategies.
From personal experience (son with ASD, severe intellectual disability) you are going to have to learn to pick your battles. The expectations and demands placed on your 6 year old are going to have to adjust. Those expectations may increase over time, but having the same rules you have for your other kids is not realistic.
We are currently seeing a child psychologist who deals with this stuff and everything she has suggested isn't working.
I'm forever telling hubby he needs to pick what is worth fighting over and what isn't as if we pick the wrong battle it can cause a meltdown.
I totally agree with the expections thing. We do have different expections for her compared to the other children as much as the other 2 hate that, but we have just explained to them that it's not favouritism but that we need to run things differently for her.