Hey Mums! This is a two part question relating to my amazing 10 year old son who is high functioning ASD.. bare with me, I would love your thoughts..
My son, as above, is high functioning ASD. His weaknesses are social / emotional skills and gross motor skills (physical activity).. his fine motor skills on the other hand are amazing, therefore his strengths and what he loves to do are building things and video games. This is where my reaching out to you for advice comes in..
The first one is for gift ideas. My boy has SO much “’stuff” but he’s not a natural player of toys. He has sooo much Lego, because he loves to build it, but then he doesn’t play with it, once its built it just sits there mostly collecting dust. Does anyone have any other gift suggestions?
His other love is Video Games, and this is the main part of my post. Most parents and parental advice say to limit the time their children spend on video games, right? But what if this is the one thing they’re good at and comfortable with? My son is socially awkward and has difficulty making and keeping friends at School, but yet put him on his headset on Fortnite and he is confident, happy, and FUNNY! Same when it comes to skill set.. struggles academically, but absolutely smashes the levels on these games. Heres my conundrum.. If you had a child that was naturally talented and most themselves when they were playing music, as a parent it would be our role to foster that. But what is it was video games. Im not really sure sometimes if I should been encouraging it or discouraging it. Mostly I let him do it because it’s the one thing that he’s good at in a world where he struggles with a lot of things, and that makes him happy.. I would love your thoughts on this though.
Its his birthday coming up and I was thinking about getting him some sort of setup so that he could stream his gaming and turn it into a bit more of a serious hobby where he could practice and maybe earn money from it in the future.. what do you think? Is he too young for his? I don’t even know how you do it! But I know people are doing it, and if its his strength.. why not foster it..?
Thanks Mums.. I hope you can see where Im coming from Xx
8 Replies
I have a high functioning ASD son. Similar issues, but he craves social interaction. He still struggles as he doesn't get social cues.
I think it's a good idea if he's good at it & it helps his confidence, but no clear boundaries on time IS a bad idea. Addiction is horrible.
I don't think they should opt out of real life completely for an online one because they need to learn to interact & navigate a society that doesn't understand them & they will need those skills, friends or not.
If you are able to control his use and he's really not good with people maybe it'll work, but please talk to his psychologist or other therapists first for the potential pitfalls specifically to your situation.
True in a way. My son loves sport and is so driven so I support him in that as much as I can. However I also make sure he engages in things that don’t come easy.
We as parents are trying to raise well rounded adults. In terms of maintaining employment he will need to work on his social skills. Even if he becomes a programmer etc it is very likely he would need to be able to work in a team based environment.
So what I’m trying to say is it is important you try and find time for both.
I too would also be mindful of addiction with gaming. The dopamine realise is proven to be very significant and so therefore ordinary life doesn’t measure up to the constant excitement of the game.
Release 😓
Another concern would be physical strength, endurance, posture and eye sight.
Your son is hiding behind these things. It’s called avoidance. My son has anxiety and will do anyhitng to avoid social situations etc. so he can’t have iPads and things like that else he would hide behind it for days. It makes them worse.
If it makes him happy leave him be. The way people go on about how bad "screen time" is, addiction, restict now or else blah blah blah is just ignorant and ridiculous. Ignore them all and let your boy be. Don't listen to them in saying you shouldn't support your child in what they love just because they don't like it or understand it.
Home is his safe space so don't make it horrible for him by taking away the thing he needs to relax and de-stress.
If you think he will like that setup fpr his birthday then get it for him. Support him in what loves and what gives him confidence no matter what that is.
My son is the same, high functioning ASD, 10yo and thrives on fortnite, struggles socially etc.
We still have time restrictions- 30mins Mon, Wed & Fri and 3hrs each day on weekends. I don’t agree in giving free reign but think you can still provide encouragement and resources for them to explore the passion.
I’ve also made him join a team sport this year, soccer, he struggled initially but he was old enough to understand the benefits of playing in a team and physical activity etc. he’s actually living it and doing very well engaging with the other kids!