Online I’m part of a group that debates heated political topics, usually around controversial topics.
I have an opinion that is contrary to most of the other participants. Fine by me. However, some send me absolutely vile messages involving pictures of my partner and I, saying we have rotten dental hygiene, look inbred, must be cousins, that our kids are the r word, and one made a fake Instagram page to harass me. She used pictures of my car on it and said she’s going to steal my ute and run over my boyfriend. One sent me lots of gay porn images. I screenshotted these messages and went on her Facebook page, saw her friends list and sent the screenshots of her being horrible to her parents and her husband.
Now all her buddies are going on the page for the police in my state and saying that I’m a cyber stalker and threatening to tell the cops on me.
Surely if it’s ok for her to use pics of my family, send me disgusting pics and such then it’s ok for me to forward them to her parents? She’s a school teacher btw.
14 Replies
If you felt threatened, you should have simply blocked all these accounts and gone to the police if you felt your physical safety was in danger.
You've acted just as childishly as the person harassing you by involving her friends and family - they aren't responsible for her behaviour!
This is also why you have to be careful who you engage with on the internet, especially in those corners of it that thrive on the controversial. A lot of people who participate in these types of Facebook groups can be quite unstable.
I didn’t involve them. THEY are the ones who sent me vile messages.
I simply screenshotted the ones from the original person and forwarded them.
And yes I know it’s childish, can’t help it, I’m oppositional and defiant and the arguments online gives my brain the dopamine hit it needs.
My point is, why is it NOT “cyber bullying” when someone’s a jerk to me, but the moment I forward the messages and expose her for the horrible person she is, I’m a bully?
Both are cyber bullying. You're as bad as each other. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. You retaliated in an extremely aggressive way. Yes, what they did was wrong and horrible but they're going to respond. There's no fair here - just escalation
You sound quite aggressive, and I'm actually a little frightened of your response, since it opposes your opinion.
I genuinely suggest you relook at your need to for aggressive argument and channel it into something positive.
You need a psychologist to help you deal with reality and your ODD. It's not acceptable for an adult to engage in bullying behaviour because I believe you engage in it for a "dopamine fix" yourself anyway.
You love a fight, and got it. What you should of done as a responsible adult is gone to the police and not gone RL by approaching people, like her parents and friends in the first place.
You're personality has a lot to do with this problem so you need to modify your behaviour going forward.
I'd be contacting the Police who MIGHT tell them to take it down. Won't do much else. You'll have to admit what you did though.
Retaliating doesn't make people back off, it makes them mad. You win by reporting them to fb, insta & police, blocking them & not allowing them access to bully you. They'll soon move on.
And get out of that group! Block them all. Never, ever, discuss controversial topics online where your identity is attached. It can haunt you forever as it's discoverable or screenshots can be used against you, as you've already done. These sites attract a lot of toxic, ignorant bigots with no real knowledge or education like to hang out. Don't engage. Get out.
Oh for fuck sake…..GROW UP and get yourself some help.
Tit for tat never solves anything...its ok to be involved in these debating groups and having strong controversy opinions, but in future perhaps use an account that doesnt connect you to your identity. And the moment you feel threatened or are the receiving end of online bullying, screen shot the attack and block the bully!
Do not engage.
What you did just aggravates the situation.
If you want to "win" in these kinds of situations, screenshot and report to FB, police,insta etc.
The police will also advice you to not engage. Thry may also feel less inclined to help you when you have also escalated the issue with further bullying behaviour.
They also may advise you to stay out of these groups...
You're equally to blame. Block them and leave the page if you don't like the way it's impacting on your life. At the end of the day, your views only matter to you. Who cares if others agree with you or not
Ffs you're just as bad. Get off social media debates and stop trying to be right all the time on them. You all deserve to be kicked off the net !
And how would you know this person is trying to be right all the time on debates?
Different commenter... But this comment from the OP makes that very clear.... 'And yes I know it’s childish, can’t help it, I’m oppositional and defiant and the arguments online gives my brain the dopamine hit it needs.'
Two wrongs don’t make it right?
Retaliation in the heat of the moment is easily done, we get that what she has done was very hurtful to you, but maybe just take a step back, take a breath and think about how your own actions are now being portrayed.
Wow! I would have thought if ypu where feeling threatened by this keyboard warrior, you would report her, block her, also might want to check you FB privacy settings too. those images must be easy to get. And if she was extra then maybe talk to the cops? Don't think what you did was worse but ultra childish to want to tell this woman's mummy? and it doesn't help your cause.
I would send the screen shots to the Department of Education in your state with her name, school, area, etc. If this is what's teaching our kids then that's wrong. Yes you were wrong for sending to family, but I get what you were trying to do.