Long story short do Aunties have any rights?
If not where do we start?
I have genuine concern for these kids the father is great at being a father but enables the mothers choices/behaviours, the mother is making poor choices she’s a alcoholic she doesn’t believe there’s a issue as such, she believes her childhood is the reason she drinks too much she refuses to get any help. It’s excuse after excuse
It’s starting to impact greatly on her 2 children there health there self esteem,friendships and school. I could go on. I just want to know what can I do? I’ve been supportive I’ve given up my life I’ve tried begging and pleading to get her to go to rehab to get help. I just can’t do it anymore! I want these 2 children to be with me to make her realise they deserve to live a happy healthy life. To have the mother they deserve. I need help.
Rights of Aunties
Rights of Aunties
Posted in:
Behaviour
10 Replies
I get your concern but you need to go through the proper channels if you want to help those kids. You can't (nor do you have the right to) just take them and raise them yourself and removing kids from their parents care is an absolute last resort because that in itself can be deeply traumatic for kids.
I personally would speak to the father in plain terms and I'd encourage him to teach out for help himself - he can do that by speaking with his GP, a social worker through the kids school or even directly to the relevant child welfare agency in your state. Him being proactive is ideal, trying to teach mum a lesson by taking the kids is not. She is sick and she needs professional help!
If that was unsuccessful or it fell on deaf ears, I'd make a report myself with full disclosure - My name, relationship to the kids, specific incidents and concerns. If keep following up if I had to!
My exes family say I'm an alcoholic too because I went to the pub a few times when I first broke up with my ex. Prior to that I would drink a few times A YEAR. Lucky I lived in a small town and the only bottle shop in town hardly never saw me walk in the door lol. Just make sure you're not making a mountain out of a mole hill and even if she does have a drinking problem, there are varying degrees of it. For anyone to intervene her drinking will need to cause safety issues such as violence, dui, leaving kids unattended, spending all their money on alcohol instead of food and shelter.
It’s like people can’t believe a mother could be the bad egg in the family! If it was the father who was the violent alcoholic they’d be listing every organisation out there that could assist but its the mother so don’t worry they’ll be right!
If it was the father that was an alcoholic the advice would be to tell the mother to take her kids and leave so I don't know why the OP thinks she needs to look after them, why can't the father?
They have a father, butt out. You said he’s a good dad, then trust him to be a good dad and let him be their dad. You say Mums an alcoholic but do you have proof. Does she drink and drive? Is she going out getting drunk and being picked up by the police or is she generally having a great time and being a person. Just because someone drinks doesn’t mean they have a problem. Nor does it mean they have a problem because they have different values to you. Back in the day I drank a lot, I was drinking every night and dancing to music and being in general a fun party mum. I stopped drinking because I wanted to. Not because it was affecting anything.
I Second this! Those kids have a dad. She needs to not claim those kids for herself. Some ppl just need to feel needed and that's just what she might be doing. If she wants to help she should support the parents, not attempt to take the kids . The kids won't thank her for it and legally she can't anyway. Nothing wrong with the dad. She's absolutely over stepping .
Basically, read all above.
But also, no there is no real rights of aunties or uncles. If the children were rehomed due to abuse or lack of care then you would be contacted to assess your ability to look after the children temporarily dependent of your situation and ability.
I have had my 2 nephews in my care, for 8 weeks, it was hard. I already had children hence why I was more suitable then my single sister who has no children. Supporting children is hard, it’s thankless and the whole family hated me for it. They thought I would just hand them over once FACS were looking the other way… nope!
They did gain custody again once the mother (SIL) was sober, clean and the housing arrangements were sorted. Much nicer situation now.
But no, you need to go through the correct channels.
Good luck. My sister physically abused , neglected and tortured her child plus was an addict. Family SA didn't care, they thought she was a great mum. Thankfully my sister gave him up and my mum took him in.
so from what i understand, as you are not a parent or guardian you have no rights.
That said if you report to family services, and the kids had to be removed, most often family is the hr first place the agency asks rather than placing kids in the system. this is good as it's formal, the guardian gets support if needed from the government and there are rules in engagement. If your brother is smart he will seperate and take the e kids, he has a responsibility to make sure they are safe in all sense of the word.
I would report any concerns to DHS. They can decide if the kids are safe or not.