Is it rude that family members (Uncle/aunties) don’t wish their nephews or nieces happy birthday ? My brother and his wife will completely ignore my children’s birthdays. I always acknowledge their children’s birthdays with a small gift and a card as well and love their Facebook posts and pictures on the day, yet on my kids special day there’s zero acknowledgment. My kids don’t expect gifts at all but do ask they’ve said anything on fb or sent a message. I’m tired of making up excuses for lazy rude behaviour.Does this go on more in families than I realise and what do others do or feel?
Wishing family Hsppy Birthday
Wishing family Hsppy Birthday
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Sisterhood Stories, Behaviour, Kids
15 Replies
This happens from my husbands side of the family. That the grandparents remember and acknowledge particular children’s birthdays but not others is what really upsets me. We also have issues in general with us always making the effort to call and see them. I’ve had to get over it though - I still acknowledge my nephews birthday and make sure hubby doesn’t forget their birthdays. They’re the ones that are missing out on connecting with the kids and one day my kids are going to figure that out and I won’t blame them if the don’t want anything to do with that side of the family
My niece isn't even born yet and I'm already thinking about what to buy her for her first birthday lol. My brother and his partner always acknowledge my kids birthdays, even if its just a phone call or a card in the mail. A little effort costs nothing, so your brother is being an ass.
I do have some people in my family and in my in-laws side who seem to purposely ignore my kids birthdays, I never make excuses to my kids about it now though. They might ask why Uncle Bob or Nan so and so didn't send them a birthday message, I used to tell them "Oh maybe they just forgot" or "Uncle Bob is pretty busy, maybe that's why" but I refuse to do that anymore.
They'll remember who had time for them when they were little, then those relatives who didnt bother will have to sleep in that bed they made.
This happens from one of my husband’s brothers and his wife. Never acknowledge my kid’s birthdays. We have always celebrated their kids (theirs are older). They moved away by the time we had kids and I still send money and a card but my kids don’t even get a call or text.
Both mine & my husband's siblings are like this. I feel so sorry for my kids. I eventually gave up and just call for their kids' birthdays now & no gifts as I feel so sad about it. My brother used to even say the 'gift was on the way', but I knew he was lying & it never arrived. My mother was promised a meal out when visiting for her birthday. Again, it never happened & she gets eye rolls if she mentions it. She notices, though, that SIL pampers her own mother on these days.
I think it's selfishness and laziness. They're all so obsessed with their own lives that no one else matters. Ironically, SIL comments on how sad it is that their kids aren't growing up knowing their cousins!
It depends if I think there's intent behind it. Some people are petty and take things out on innocent kids, that is rude. Some people are just forgetful, busy or broke. That's life.
More important things in the world to worry about. People not sending birthday messages etc isn’t lazy rude behaviour they just don’t care and that’s ok. You cannot control other people’s behaviour.
Yer families can be weird like that. It’s jealousy or plain rudeness. Or it just isn’t their thing.
Yeah mine don't. Unless we have a family dinner or something. I'm not to fussed as I don't always either lol
Me either. If we're not getting together, their bday is for parents and friends. I have 5 siblings and hubby has 2. Only 1 auntie does gifts etc and we'd prefer none did. We feel obligated to do the same but it isn't ok to buy her kids gifts and not our other niece's and nephews. But if we bought for all of them it would be so expensive
Why are your kids already worried about social media validation? Shouldn't they be asking if they called them?
This is happening with my daughter. They we send a present and a Happy Birthday text to my son but I didn't even get a congratulations for the birth of my daughter.
My brother and his partner had a go at me (and my husband) while I was 4 months pregnant. It was due to others interfering but it was apparently all our fault.
While my baby didn't get a 1st birthday present, I have still sent birthday messages and presents to their children.
I don't really know what I will do or say to her if it continues when she is older
I don’t like the whole wishing birthdays on FB as a whole- especially for young children.
I wish my close family and friends Happy Birthday on FB but follow it up with a call or text. Rarely get the same returned for my kids. It’s rude in my opinion. In saying that, my kids rarely get a call from our close family anyway 🤦♀️ Social media is making people complacent
Honestly stop making excuses for crappy family members. The kids will work out who is there for them and who isn’t. My sister has lived in all different countries through my daughters life and has always managed to send a message or a small gift.
Let me guess - you are addicted to Facebook and you are quite materialistic??? Sorry but really… obviously they don’t have the same priorities and behaviours as you in relation to birthdays, but that does mean they should conform to your ways.
I have a sister-in-law who scrutinises the gifts I give her daughter to the point where I wish I had the courage to not bother. I hate buying presents for that family and never feel it is good enough… I know she doesn’t mean to cast judgement (constantly) but it does mean that I am a little less inclined to care now - even money gifts come with criticism of being too cheap as she brags that her daughter gets $100 for xyz.
I am just sharing this as I honestly do not think they intend to cause you harm, it is just that presents are not their priority. (If you are any friend of mine, you would know you will never get a card from me 😂, regardless of whether you love cards, I just think they are a waste of money and am not about to buy one ever…)
Don’t judge them if they are different. 😂
Do you give because you care for the recipients or because you expect effort in return?
It’s the same in my family but I don’t find it offensive. Everyone is different and are in different financial positions and have different ways of showing love. I know that 2 of my 3 sisters love my child because of the way they treat her when they are around. That’s what’s most important in my opinion.