Hi, just going to get straight to it. My ex's girlfriend's children were molested by their father. He was charged and jailed. The sons 12 yr old twins started touching the sisters and younger brother and were removed from the family to seek help (over a year and a half ago now). My daughter (11) spends 50/50 with both me and her dad but when it all went down she was interviewed and we both talked to her separately and she said she wasn't affected and I believe her. Now today my ex got a phone call from child protection that they had gone to the school and interviewed our daughter. She had let her best friend know why they didn't live with them anymore and the friend told her mum who then went to the school and police. Our daughter asked for the principal to be present and they refused. I was not contacted at all by anyone except my ex to say he had got a phone call. We haven't been together for a good 10 years and I don't have anything to do with his family except for drop offs. She said they sat her down and put a large video recorder in front of her then proceeded to ask her questions and show their badge. Afterwards she was sent back to class. As soon as I was told by my ex I went and picked her up because I knew she would of been scared and I was right. As soon as she seen me she started crying. Is this right? Are they aloud to this? My poor daughter was traumatized by this interview and wasn't aloud anyone with her. Is there anywhere for me to make a complaint in qld? I completely understand why they did it but to not let her have someone with her is not right. This was so out of the blue for her and the school/police were notified months before hand (coming from the principal) so why wasn't I told? Why wasn't something mentioned to me so I could protect my baby? And let her be prepared for this all to be bought up again?
7 Replies
Seek some legal advice. I’m assuming this is in Australia? What state?
Yes the are and you must remember this is for her safety and protection. So please put the rest aside and explain to her that they are only there to help. She should not be scared of them and this is your job to make sure she isn’t. They do this because they have to.
Yes it’s normal and no you can’t do a thing about it. They have every right to. She could be at high risk and they acted on it. Don’t scare her.
Yes they are, and they don't have to inform or ask you anything. They will be talking to her school, drs anyone who has contact with her
I don't think guardians are told so there's no coaxing etc, no planning. It still would have been traumatic for her I am sure, especially since she is already seeing step siblings removed she probably thought she was next, poor thing.
I remember in high school my boyfriends family had a foster child and the check-ups were done right there in front of everyone. She was asked questions that should have been in private like was she happy, any issues, abuse. Of course she said everything was fine. She ran away eventually because one of the sisters and mother were beating her up. So I totally am not against them saying no to anyone else being present you don't want the child just agreeing to everything because they're too scared to speak up.
Ring the officer in charge and speak with them. No point complaining when you don’t know their policy and procedures. Child abuse officers do this every day. They would only be looking out for your daughters best interests. Also remember your ex might not be telling the truth. Hence again why you should go straight to the source.
I’d much rather your daughter go through the questioning, than the alternative of being abused.
My son was sexually abused by one of his friends fathers.
Not all kids come home and say anything straight away. Luckily my son did, and I put a stop to it ever happening again
If your daughter did make a disclosure, and you/she wanted to take it further, they would need to have this filmed, and free from any influence from others (you, principal)
My son had to attend a forensic interview with a child psychologist. He didn’t know he was being filmed at the time, because it was a 1 way window. I wasn’t allowed to be with him at the time either.
Don’t take it personally, or take offence. People are just trying to protect your daughter, Be grateful for that