My Friend wants to pull her daughter from school as the school suggests she have her assessed for delays, and I agree with the school. She's has 2 other daughter and 2 sons, and they all have some form of delay so I'm assuming she's afrade of a another child with a diagnosis. I'm her best friend and she tells me everything, but when this subject comes up she shuts down and will have no bar of it. Our daughters grew up together and are both in year 2. Her daughter has a random brittish accent. Has only just started to put understandable words together and engaged in conversations. Shes very sensory, no eye contact, very blunt, things have to be done in a particular way or it results in a melt down. No comprehension when asked to be bast tasks. Shes always sent from class for out bursts for sensory over load. I want to help my friend as I feel the longer she ignores the fact her daughter needs more assistence, the further behind she will end up
2 Replies
Ask her long term plan if she pulls the child. Don't judge, or argue the points straight off, just ask. She's done this 4 times already does she have a plan, an idea? It might help her to think it through beyond the reaction.
From what you have said her daughter is not fitted to main stream schooling at this point so I don't see why pulling her is an issue for anyone. If she can't handle the sensory of being in a classroom isn't it better for her to be homeschooled or attend a school that is more suited such as a special education school? Having a diagnosis will not get rid of sensory overload? This little girl may always be "behind" she may need to learn at her own pace instead of being forced to learn at the "average" pace.
I have a little boy that is very similar to the little girl you have described, he has autism. If we did every assessment and therapy that everyone expects us to do we would spend more time in therapy then home. We choose not to do physical or occupational therapy, instead I researched using Google and I spoke to therapists, getting advice to learn how to incorporate these therapies into our daily lives eg, park trips that target the areas he needs such as climbing, instead of a therapist office.
We only do speech therapy and even then I have had that arranged so he does that while he is at school. School has been so so hard for him, there have been times I think he will blossom more with home schooling or a special education school, unfortunately that's not an option as we live rural (closest special ed school is over an hour away) and I work full-time shift work so can't home school. I am lucky as I work with his teacher aide (I'm an aged care worker she has a second job where I work) she is trained as I am in disability care too and she goes above and beyond with my son to help him, if it wasn't for her I probably would have pulled my son by now and quit my job to homeschool him.
I don't mean to sound rude but your friend probably shuts down when you try to talk to her as she doesn't feel like you understand and the way you come across, although well intentioned, comes across as you know what's best for her child not her.
This lady has 3 other children with similar differences (from what you said) she has more then likely got a plan and just hasn't told you as she doesn't feel you would support it.