Im having trouble with my 6 year old and I dont know what to do..
He has been formally diagnosed with ADHD-combination type and informally diagnosed with ASD- type 1 as well as ODD. My son had his first Occupational Therapy session on Friday night via zoom, she was asking the standard questions about his behaviours, my son was drawing beside me and engaging in some conversation but refused to speak as usual, after I described his behaviours she then asked about his father. My son hasn't seen his father since January due to and intervention order I put in place after I found out about my son's fathers drinking habits and existing family violence towards my son (our court orders state no drugs or alcohol) it was his father's choice not to see him. After that question was asked about his dad he proceeded to saying just want to grab a knife and stab myself in the chest" and he ran for the draws where the knives were. We struggled in the kitchen for 25 minutes, my son was inconsolable! Saying "I just want to die" "I want to kill myself, just let me kill myself" "I just want to be dead". I am not strong enough to keep my son at bay, he kicked chairs over, threw things at me while I stood infront of the knife draw (candles, plates anything he could get his hands on) and was extremely hard to control!! This was all on zoom video and the Occupational therapist seen everything!! I am fortunate enough that my brother lives with me to help with him, he scooped him up and took him out the room to calm down while I ended the zoom video. I completely broke down, I have since moved the knives away but I really dont know what to do now!! These brake downs are happening more and more, im getting hurt, my daughter is getting hurt and the whole family is just so stressed and angry, it's even effecting my work life as I constantly have to leave to pick him up from school or deal with his outbursts.
He has a speech therapist, Occupational therapist and a paediatrician. His paediatrician said he can no longer help with the out bursts and NDIS won't allow funding to get in home help. I'm all on my own and scared of my 6 yr old hurting me, my daughter or himself. His dad won't answer any of my messages or emails and I am at a loss.
Please help!! Any advice will be appreciated
14 Replies
Why was the occupational therapist asking about his Dad? That lacks a bit of professionalism imo.
The boy is obviously struggling with not seeing his Dad. Is there a chance of trying to rebuild the relationship with his Dad? Day visits, a few hours a week? Our kids mental health is more important than court orders.
Dad isn't contactable, doesn't pick up calls, reply to texts or emails. There is also history of drug abuse and violence on his behalf, he has abandoned him multiple times through out the years leaving him with his partner or me and being uncontactable.
Well you haven't mentioned that. You also say you tried to contact him but why would you if he's as bad as you say? Been out of his life for 8 months so I'm not sure why you would open up communication again if it means putting your child through more trauma.
Because she is a mum who is desperate to get her son help. For a moment she may just think dad can help. This poor mum.
Don’t contact the father, please, he’s had enough chances, sounds like he’s the cause.
Kids are better off without the parent altogether than to let them swan in and out.
He’s needs a child psychologist ASAP.
Sounds like the son needs his dad so you will have to put your feelings aside and try to make it work so the boy can have some sort of a relationship with him.
That conversation should not have happened in front of him. They may have asked the question and probably should have said 'if we can talk about that now' but you should have said not now.
However I disagree with above. Kids struggle with not seeing dad. that does not mean seeing dad is the answer. He is struggling because of the trauma of dad. Most likely dads presence and the whole history much more than the absence.
You definitely need to work out what triggers him and learn to not discuss those things in front of him (for now). You can discuss things with the OT in private.
I’m not sure why your child doesn’t have a psychologist. I would definitely add one to your child’s therapy team. Does your son have behaviour support included in his NDIS plan? If not, then that would be on my to do list with a change of circumstances review if necessary. Once he’s got that in his plan, a psychologist can conduct a behaviour assessment that may/may not include restrictive practices (locking knives away) it should also help identify triggers etc.
If he’s threatening self harm you take him straight to emergency or call an ambulance. He needs to be assessed by a mental health professional. Take him to his GP and get a mental health care plan and referral to a psychologist.
Psychiatrist NOT psychologist
A child psychologist and medication. That poor baby and your poor mumma. This is heartbreaking. Find some groups with mentors that he can look up to. Get it outdoors. Lots of cuddles and reassurance. Ring 000 again if he gets worse. This is so sad. I feel for this poor boy. He needs a male in his life he can do things with. Family, friends dads anything. fishing clubs, scouts, anything.
I thing you should have been referred to a paediatrician and psychologist, not the OT.
Behavioural therapy?
1 Make sure you are giving him a good diet, lots of fruit and veges and protein. The least amount of sugar or processed foods you possibly can.
2 Get him into some physical activities. Swimming, running, martial arts, kicking a ball, riding his bike. That will help to burn off some energy and increase the good chemicals.
3 Get him to a psychiatrist urgently. Go to emergency if he says he is going to kill himself. Take that very seriously.
4 You have to take charge momma. You have to be the one in control of this.Its up to you to figure this one out. you can do it. Stop being a victim. Be the leader you know you can be.