We got our recovery order!!!.... its taken so long and the kids have suffered so much parental alienation its sickening.. they come home in a police car scared, crying shaking, and filthy. If only she made it less of a traumatic situation by simply bringing them home when asked, but instead she tried to throw kids over fences, abused police and told the kids to run away when we are not looking. They have missed 5 weeks of school, not been on medications and come home so thin and unwell. Im trying to get them all counselling, but there is nothing within 2hrs drive and everywhere else isn't taking on non local patience. There is a temp restraining order, shes not allowed near the children, and we go back to court in a month. The orders made early this year are now void with The likely hood of a permanent no contact order being extremely high. This means the kids may not see or speak to their mother until they are 18yo, or she will be charged and possibly jailed.
The parental alienation is extreme and we dont know what to do about it. How and when is the right time to tell the children why they were removed from their mum several years ago? Is there even a right time? The eldest 2 are old enough to say where they live and they cut us off a while ago due to lies. They rarlt go to school now and roam. now our youngest kids have had this all drummed into their heads too. Our 10yo is suddenly in fear of me, im an evil step mother who beats him, im the reason docs stole him from his mum. I dont understand why he's saying such things. Im not mad at him, this isn't his fault, but how the hell do I rebuild a relationship that was so easily warped in such a short amount of time? He wasn't given his antipsycotics since the 4th of July, the day they were dropped off for school holiday contact so he is mentally unwell. Im hoping beginning his meds again will help him think clearly. Our 9yo was saying the same but in 2 days, hes all over me and wont let go. Our 12yo is chatty but distant at the same time.
What do we do, how do we handle this, how do we help them?
3 Replies
Thabks for the update that's great to know they're home. Hopefully she is hit with the book, it's awful the effect it will have on the children. I'd suggest looking at online services lots have sprung up since lockdowns. Speak to the school GO for advice and connections.
Yes please remember they're just children theyre innocent and they've been told all these lies by someone they just biologically trust, and will, until they learn for themselves. Add to that that they're off antipsychotics. Go gently with them and yes, their behaviour is all an affect of whats happened to them.
You’re amazing, your dedication to those kids, anyone else would have run by now.
If a permanent no contact order is placed, we plan to leave town. But intil a final order is made we can't do anything. I'd prefer to stay relatively local but then that fear of her attempting to do this again is high, even with a no contact order. My partner wants to go quite rural. I'm worried about my mental health too, moving town, leaving my family... the thought is very scary. The kids will hate us after all this.