Can someone give me some guidance please.. my 18 month old daughter is a terrible sleeper.. she slept well in her bassinet in a tight swaddle untill about 12 weeks old and we then went through some sleepless nights and one day I was so tired I decided to have her swaddled and nap next to me.. (yes yes I know sids and safe sleep etc I know I know. PND and PNA already had a strong hold on me and I needed the rest) anyway.. we then just never got out of napping together everyday and it turned into her sleeping in bed with us as well at night. She’d occasionally sleep in her bassinet and cot and was tightly swaddled untill 8 months old because she just wouldn’t go to sleep with out it.
Anyways 18 months old now and falls asleep in my arms for naps and bed time and I do my very best to transfer her to the cot for sleep at night once she’s fallen asleep. However she’ll wake 8-10 times a night and I’m at the point where after 2-3 transfers back to the cot I’ll just keep her in bed with me because I’m so exhausted. And yes I’ve tried the cry it out method but I just can’t do it because the mum guilt lays in on me.. her nana has her one night a week to give me a break and help out and she sleeps perfectly for her.. I’m talking 12-14 hour solid sleeps and she just puts her in the cot and she sleeps right through..
So now I’m at the point of im thinking of trying melatonin to sleep if it’ll help her go to sleep and stay asleep.. can anyone help
With this? Will it help her to stay asleep?
Please don’t be harsh on me im already so hard on my self as a first time mum and im struggling so bad here.
6 Replies
She sleeps through because you're not there so there's no point in carrying on, and she also would need it as she's not sleeping properly either.
This is about sleep routine. Cosleeping is fine but you have to be able to have your own life, she's got you pinned day and night atm. Not letting her is the only way. Establish new routines. Don't cuddle all the way to sleep or don't pick her up when you comfort her. Side car the cot maybe.
I wouldn’t do melatonin as that’s more for insomnia than kids with bad sleep routines. I’d consider getting rid of the cot and going for a mattress on the bedroom floor.
Lay with her to sleep and then extricate yourself. Gradually remove yourself from the room at earlier parts of going to sleep.
Melatonin addresses insomnia by helping to stimulate hormones that result in a natural circadian rhythm/sleep cycle. Your daughter is wanting comfort from you. Melatonin isn't a great option.
If you can find a way to cosleep without her waking you, go with that. Perhaps her cot mattress on the floor beside you? Honestly, what she is doing is age appropriate though.
We used Melatonin at that age, we sourced it from our GP and had a pharmacist compound it for us (so it was the good stuff). There's slow release or quick release, we tried both and neither aided in keeping him asleep unfortunately however it did assist greatly most of the time in falling asleep. Some nights it just didn't work. I never felt comfortable re-administering it so we only gave one dose a night.
We had a queen bed in his room and either my husband or I will sleep in with him each night once it is our bed time (usually a few hours after he is down and stays asleep long enough with the melatonin). That way we are comfortable in a larger bed with him and have room and the other partner sleeps well on their own.
Having a sleep routine is important, for us it meant there weren't any day naps as it didn't fit into our day and meant we fought him too much for him to have one which caused a lot of stress and tied each day down. Which was hard, but it meant we had a solid night routine.
He is now 4 and in the last few months has started sleeping from 7pm - 5am on his own, which has been a big relief. It does get better, I promise!
Also, don't let it scare you into having another baby if you are worried. We were so concerned about it, however we established a very clear and solid sleep routine with our second and she is the best sleeper ever.
I haven't had a full night sleep for 4 years. My son will be 4 in December and my daughter is 20 months and neither of them sleep through the night.
My son has done a few 8.30pm to 5.30am but not very many. And as much as I try to replicate those days, it never works.
I bring both of them to bed with me when they wake after midnight otherwise I wouldn't get any sleep.
Everyone one keeps telling me to give them phenergon but I won't medicate my children so I get a good night sleep.
You are her safe place and she knows you will respond to her needs. She just needs you. Adults don't sleep alone, so why do we expect our little ones to sleep alone
I could have nearly written the same as you x
I now have a 3yo boy and at 18 months the Dr prescribed Melatonin. It did not work. We tried for around 6 months on and off.
He hasn’t slept in his own bedroom for over a year now.
He is at the stage now he will not go to bed unless myself or my husband hop into our bed with him or he’ll sleep in a siblings bed.
He can still be up at 11pm at night if we have visitors!
We have tried natural remedies, music, massage, weighted blanket, day sleeps, no day sleeps, phew than and it is still tough to get him to fall asleep and he still doesn’t sleep in his own room. If I move beds through the night, he always ends up next to me.
He is my #4 so don’t be hard on yourself.
It’s good you get a night off a week. As long as you’re resting up x. It’s good Bub is getting the sleep at your mums too.
I am sorry I have no advice but from experience I know the kids will be grown before we know it and won’t want to be around us !! I know that doesn’t help now either but you’ll get to look back one day and realise you got through it 💗