I'm going back to work next month after 7 months of maternity leave and I'm terrified to leave my son. I am going back 5 days a week and have organised care with family, but my child doesn't know this family because of lockdown/covid and I don't know what this will mean for him.
I get anxious and guilty when leaving my baby to go to the shops, even though I know he is happy with his dad.
I am the breadwinner in our family and need to return to work full-time, so there is no option for me to be home.
It sounds so silly, but I didn't think I would love my baby this much, pregnant me had no idea that this would be a problem.
I think I'm just looking for other mothers' experiences of going back to work and leaving their babies. Is it as awful as I think it is going to be? I know we will both be fine in the long run, and I've had more time with him than some mummies do with their babies, but ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜.
5 Replies
Try really hard to overcome your anxiety. Littlies pick up on this and will sense that being left by mumma is somehow dangerous and this can make drop off extra hard.
I couldn’t do it! Can your husband stay home. If anything I’d feel better if my husband was with the baby over other family. I’d actually move to a place with cheaper living so I could be home. I just couldn’t leave my baby either.
Have you been taking the baby to the family members for visits so he can get to know them? My nieces & nephews have been in family care since they were born - but that was pre-covid so they knew everyone. Basically whoever has the day off gets the baby 😂
Now your bubby is probs too young for this, but I do know that my family kiddos as toddlers will scream bloody murder at the door when Mum leaves - but as soon as she's out of sight, the tears magically disappear and they're happy and playing immediately.
My daycare worker friends all say this is super common. It's just a parental guilt thing 😂
Take bub for regular visits with whoever will be caring for him. I work in childcare and have always recommended that bub has several visits to get to know the carers in the room with mum and or dad present, then when care starts to begin with shorter days building up to the longer days when mum returns to work. This enables bub to build an attachment to their new carers, as well as learn that mum and dad will always come back. It also gives mum some ‘me’ time before the added responsibility of work is added to the mix.
Your son will be just fine. Mother guilt is way more about us than our babies. Doesn’t make it easier I know. If your son is in a safe / loving / fun environment during the day, and you give him lots of love, cuddles and quality time when you are home, he will be just fine. I had to go back to work full time when my first was little. And yes, he would often cry on drop off and make me feel guilty as hell, but he would be perfectly fine as soon as I had left. But I am pleased to say he is now a well adjusted teenage boy.
I still get guilty working full time, and he (or his younger sisters) definitely do not care one way or the other these days. But they know they are safe and secure, and I am always there for them when it counts. Work out your own rhythms and routines - for example we have dinner as a family every night so we can talk and connect. When they were little I would read to them at night. Quality time, that is what they will remember. Be kind to yourself!