I have my 35 year old son living with me, he’s never really left home. He works full time and though we have had many ups and downs for the most part he is very helpful around the house etc. he does lose his temper very quickly if he doesn’t understand something properly and can get quite argumentative at times though. 10 days ago we had an argument over some money he owed me, but he couldn’t wrap his head around the way it was worked out. He started yelling so ito,do him not to worry about to leave everything as is but on his way leaving the room he told me I was stealing from him, (it was over $200) told he’s not going to pay off a credit card he owes on and through a plate up the hallway. Then came his expensive blender, his Xbox,controller and a full wine bottle through the wall into his bedroom wardrobe, and a smashed in bedroom door. He admitted to his brother it wasn’t acceptable, but he hasn’t spoken to me since. All he does is sleep here and his washing. He hasn’t cooked his meals since, won’t answer any messages. I did message him to tell him I won’t come out of bedroom so he can cook and eat in comfort. My other son won’t help but is abusive in his contact so I really have no one else to ask. I can’t keep going on like this, it’s a horrible feeling. Is it too early to expect him to talk at all yet, how long is long enough. It’s like living with a stranger, I have told him I’m sorry for my part in the argument twice, and I read I shouldn’t br8ng what happened which I won’t. I just want some sort of civil contact.
9 Replies
What's his diagnosis? I'm assuming based on his behaviour he has one?
I mean it’s time he moved out. Let him throw things at his own walls!
It's time he moved out. I really can't believe you messaged him and told him you'll hide in your room in your own house. Message him and tell him to man up and admit his behaviour because you're unhappy in your own home. And after that, even if you're getting on again, he does need to move out.
You are too kind to him, this is why he has no respect. You do not apologise for something he did. If he isn’t comfortable cooking the he leaves your house to go eat elsewhere. Stop being so nice. He is the one who should be apologising. Sounds like he has an undiagnosed condition. He needs help before he hurts you.
Evict him, get yourself some therapy so you learn to value yourself more.
Even if your son has a diagnose, he is high functioning enough to live elsewhere.
Agree and you can support him better when you're not in a situation where you feel forced to enable his temper and behaviours.
Dude needs to move out and show more respect. Grown ass man should be living in his own house, not with his mum.
Tell him to gtfo. There’s no way I’d stand for that level of disrespect from my middle aged child in my own home. Give him his notice and send him packing!
Get him and your self help
If you do kick him out make sure you pay close attention to any companions he has. He is a loaded gun