My son has ADHD and is also dyslexic with severe anxiety and school drop offs have become traumatic for both of us. The hardest thing I have ever done is walk away while the teachers hold him screaming for me to help him. It takes anything up to 30minutes for me to leave the school because he won’t let me leave. He hates school. It’s not because he doesn’t have friends, he does. Lots of them. I’m trying to get him to see someone about his anxiety but there is waitlists everywhere. I don’t know what to do. How to help him with school. His school and the teachers are amazing and so understanding when it comes to him but it’s getting too hard. My whole walk home I’m in tears from his screaming for me to help and I feel like it’s not helping him when they have to do that. I’m so lost and heartbroken 💔 I feel like I’m failing him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him. I usually get a call from one of the teachers telling me he settled and is happy now but it’s still a heartbreaking experience. He only goes to school for half days because he can’t handle full days and some mornings he cries till he is almost throwing up because he doesn’t want to go to school.
5 Replies
So does he have a good time at school or hates it all? Are they good with meeting his needs through the day?
If so, that helps a lot in knowing that he will be ok.
In that case, you need to turn those negatives into positives - celebrate great days, tell him he did amazing (yes even if he cried and screamed) turn the script around. Find his currency. Does he need a mate to hug, does he like to Lego for the drop off transition, or will payment help? Also be busy. If he just wants to stay with you because you're his safe place, make school his fun place. Remind him his teachers help him with anything he needs, and be busy - do jobs, make lists or go to work so what he's imagining of being at home with you isn't an option anyway.
And know he will grow out of it.
Try and make it a quicker drop off, I know he will still cry but I think when it's a long and drawn out goodbye it makes it more traumatic for you and him. Take him in, point out the exciting things that are going to happen at school today and then say I will be back at lunch time to pick you up, I love you, have a beautiful day. Then go.
Distance education or home schooling works wonders for these kids. Are you in QLD?
My 10yr old cried every morning before school from reception to year 2.)she was always a clingy baby and toddler). It was hard and thankfully her teachers were great. One teacher let her take my picture and a teddy to school so she felt more comfortable. Finally year 3, a miracle happened , her confidence grew. She walked into school by herself . It was wonderful . This year, she has walked home with a friend. It will get better. Also my daughter also has dyslexia
Is your child medicated for his anxiety? Our boy was in the same boat till we got his anxiety under control. Our Mr10 is on a Concerta/Stratera mix and it has honestly changed his life! He was refusing to go to school almost every day, he would sit in the car crying begging not to go but now he is at the end of the school year which normally is the worst time and he hasn't refused to go in months 😁