My father in law came to stay with us, it was told to me it was temporary until he could get back on his feet and in the meantime would help out around the house - great! Although it's starting to feel like it isn't so temporary and I am feeling a little stuck, I think he is under the impression it's a permanent thing and it isn't - well at least not to me. I appreciate the help he has offered, but we are very different people. I have 3 kids and a 4th on the way and I do not agree with a lot of the things he does and says. He's very very old fashioned, but coupled with that is he is constantly gossiping about other people in the family and can say some pretty gross things. I've made it pretty clear he needs to find his own place, but I feel like he isn't getting the memo. Has anyone been in an uncomfortable situation like this before and can offer me some tips to navigate through it? I don't expect him to move asap, but I have said after the new year he does need to start looking for his own place. I'm just worried also about pushing the point as he can be really agro sometimes and although I don't think he would hurt me ever, I don't do well with confrontation.
3 Replies
First, what was the agreement? Why would he move in to just move straight out again?
And second, it's your inlaw so it's your partner that needs to be dealing with it all. Don't drop hints, just make a clear decisions with your partner and leave it to your partner to communicate it.
He's been here 6 months so it isn't moving in and moving straight out. The deal was he was to find a place of his own within this time and he hasn't. I made that clear in the question, also I haven't dropped hints I've been straight forward.
Let you partner deal with it, you deal with your family, he deals with his.
Work out a deadline with your partner and get him to communicate it to his dad.