Hi,
I have seen a couple of posts lately about prison and quite a few comments from people here who have had a parent there themselves,
My child’s father has been in jail for 3 years now and I suppose you never know if you’re making the right decisions and supporting them properly through it and as you can image I would rather do everything as best as possible now rather then find out later on I caused more damage then good so that brings me to my questions; ( I would just like to add his crime is in no way related to the child nor has there been any kind of DV)
Is there anything you wish you’re parents did or didn’t do during that time?
We’re you happy to visit and talk to your parent?
Do you believe being taken to a psychologist would of been beneficial?
Any other advice you have would be incredibly appreciated
& once again I would please only like to hear from people who have been a child to a prisoner
Thankyou
3 Replies
My partner's stepdad was in and out of prison for a fair majority of his childhood. His mother would take him and his siblings in for visits regularly until on one occasion a brawl (not including or having anything to do with his step dad) broke out in the vicinity. That incident concluded with a violent stabbing that a bunch of horrified kids had to witness.
Even before that incident my partner has no pleasant memories of visiting the prison, to this day he's very adamant that jails are no place for children even if they desperately miss their parent. He has very, very strong feelings about it actually.
Given that he's still dealing with that trauma, I'm going to say that children in this situation 100% need some level of professional support.
My Mum was only in for 6 months, I visited monthly. I really do feel that it was her benefit more than mine. I was 12 at the time.
Although I’m glad that it made her feel better, I didn’t at all enjoy it, I was scared and worried, and I felt like the screws treated me like I was smuggling something in every visit. I was a good kid, and I didn’t like feeling that I wasn’t a good person.
Looking back, psychology sessions would have been good for me, I don’t talk about that time anymore. In fact I do seem pretty well adjusted as an adult, but I’m really not.
I think it really depends on the relationship as well. My Mum was in and out my entire life.
My father was in prison from the age I was 4-8 years old. My younger brother and I used to visit him occasionally and he told us that he was in a bakery. Don't remember much, playing in a little unit with a backyard with swings mainly and driving in and out of the big gates. No long lasting effects, didn't know until years later it was in fact prison. Don't have a close relationship with him, never have done. See him probably once or twice a year. We like each other's FB posts, that's about it.