My husband and I had our own small business. It is very physical and due to medical issues I can’t really help. I am also crap at being a housewife. The guilt is getting to me. He’s working 14-16 hours a day. How can I help? I look after the kids and give them all they need but my husband is exhausted and I feel so bad I can’t help him with the business. I need help!
I also suffer from bad depression and anxiety, so my moods are all over the place as well as I have no energy because of my mental health and my physical health.
I feel like I’m letting my family down.
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4 Replies
Can you do the admin side of things? Invoicing, answering calls, anything non physical :)
I am exactly the same. I don’t think you realise how much you already do, being a mum and having a medical condition. Don’t be so hard on yourself. One day at a time. See you Dr and see if you can try some anti depressants if you haven’t already. They really helped me.
I don't think it's a matter of equal action. Instead try to think of whether you make equal effort. What you are doing might be your absolute limit with your health. Or it might be apathy from your depression stopping you from trying to put in effort. If it's the second, that's an issue. Either way, look at what you can do to improve your capacity. Counselling, medication review, exercise, scheduled self care.... If you can increase your capacity, you'll be able to increase your contribution in some way. If you do that, your self esteem should improve too
Just because he works 16hour days doesn’t mean you have to also, to be equal. You look after the kids, alone, that’s a big thankless job day after day. And I’d say your mental health and feeling useless has more to do with the way your family runs at the minute. He needs to find ways to get his workload back within reason. Delegate, outsource, hire, reduce load, schedule and leave things, but those days aren’t sustainable.