Hi sisterhood!
I’m at the end of my rope. Covid has hit my family hard. I lost my job in disability support in June or 2021. This put a huge strain on us, but we were coping.
Our landlord also felt the pinch and decided to move into the property we were renting, giving us 2 months to find somewhere else, and I wholeheartedly understand that it wasn’t out home and we did not earn that house! It was them that worked hard to buy their homes so as not to end up in the kind of situation I am in now!
The rental market in our area and surrounds is in crisis for the same reason.
My partner and I are now staying with his brother and my children (10 and 14) have had to move in with their father. Their immediate needs are met, but they are t happy and it definitely isn’t an ideal situation for them!
I have struggled with my mental health for years (cyclothymia) but have always managed to keep in under control to the best of my ability, making it a priority to care for myself.
After everything that has happened in such a short period of time, I have found myself back at square one with it all. I am coming off the medication I have been taking for 10 years to try something new, but I am completely useless at the moment!
I know I need to do this so I can be healthy and emotionally available to my kids! But I’m also aware they need me more than ever right now and I am completely empty.
The loss of my job and the unpredictable nature of my partners work has left us without any savings and struggling to simply feed ourselves, let alone save for bond etc!
I have never felt so down and feel I am failing my babies! I can’t even provide them a roof over their heads they can be comfortable in! I want with all of my heart to work and save and fix the situation for them! But I can barely get out of bed and have found myself spending nights on the phone with suicide prevention hotlines.
I don’t know what I am asking. I guess I just want to know that I’m doing the right thing. I want to feel like I’m not letting them down, but the rational part of me knows I am!
I’m running on empty and just want it all to end!
I know I’m not alone in the covid struggle! Is anyone else going through something similar? What can I do to help my family through this situation when I feel it’s me that is needing help!? I wish someone else could take the wheel for a bit while I sort out my mental illness and climb back on top!
I’m truly scared!
Covid is tearing my family apart!
Covid is tearing my family apart!
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Money
5 Replies
Sometimes it’s situational. So you feel tired, lethargic, exhausted, defeated, unwell, like you’re too unwell to be able to go out to work but actually getting up and doing that will sort everything else out. I think that is your answer. All the mental health counselling in the world won’t help when you’re stuck in a hole and intend on still being in that hole next week and the week after until you’re better. You’ll have to do it while you’re not feeling better.
Can you do different work?
There are businesses screaming for people.
Once you get one thing back under your control it's easier to see your way through rather than the blockade you're looking at right now and to be honest picking up a new job would be the easiest for that first step.
Just remember it’s temporary and it will get better. Don’t put to much on yourself. Everyone is going through it and it’s often our thoughts that weigh us down. Think positive. This is temporary and we will get through it together and be back under one roof together soon. This isn’t permanent and you are doing an amazing job with what you have now. It’s for your kids and their best interests so don’t feel bad for doing what is right. Before too long, you will all be back together again and feeling better. You just got to hang in there and focus on the future and what you want and getting your mental health under control. You aren’t being silly, you are doing amazing! What you are doing is taking it all on your shoulders because you are mum and that’s what amazing mums do when trying to put their kids first and thinking of their well-being you got this! Reach out and get food hampers and see what other options you can get for the moment. Well done ringing these fantastic prevention lines. Keep doing this and keep positive. Your kids need you and you need them.
I’m so sorry you are going through this x
Lean on your partner, get your mental health in check, that’s the most important thing and just resign yourself to the fact that things will be shit for a while, but it’s temporary.
On e you get your health sorted, you can get a job, help your partner out and get things back on track. Good luck lovely ❤️
Maybe you could look at relocating to a near by area or complete new area? The disability sector is screaming for workers in my location and I have heard it's the same across the board, or since you have done disability support work could you possibly look into nursing homes or Youth Work. I think by the sounds of it once you have found work the rest will start falling into place.