In 2019 my ex and new partner took off with my son and hid him from me. I took it to court and found out where he was. He is currently 18. He had a phone I supplied that he no longer has. His dad and partner only allow him to talk on there phones and on there times. If they hear something or want their phone back they demand it back and all I can hear is my son crying no, no, no before the talking from him stops.
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It's Parental Alienation and really sad they are continuing even now at 18. This is very controlling. Since your son is being stopped from living his life I would make all this public, shame them, call police for a welfare check, see if there's any way you can send him money every week so he has the means to leave even if it's only $50 a week that's enough for a bus or train ride. Send him a phone that's in your name so you can report it stolen if they take it. If you do see him don't send him back, help him get set up as an adult.
This is perfect advice! I second all of this. Good luck OP đź’–
He's 18.. he needs to grow a pair. Surely he has his own phone, facebook, something?
How can he if his parents took his phone off him? Mentally controlled children stay that way unless something is done, age doesn't matter. Look at the big cases in the media where adult kids were basically kept captive by their parents. What a horrible, misinformed comment.
He needs to grow a pair!!! What the fuck!!!! Who makes a comment as despicable as that?
As an adult who grew up surrounded by DV since as far as I can remember, it’s far from being as simple as “growing a pair”. I struggled well into my 20s and still now in my 30s, after over 10 years of therapy. He needs help to get out of there and mostly, he needs emotional and psychological support.
Whenever I tried to stand up for myself, or to use your words "grow a pair", my mother would threaten to kick me out and she meant it.
I was teenager that had no money, no place to go, no job because I wasn't allowed one, I didn't even have access to my own birth certificate or any identification.
It's also possible this lad has some mental or intellectual disabillities that mean he doesnt function at the level of a typical 18 year old. My uncle for example, is 50 in years but mentally he's about 10.
Broaden your mind a little before making obtuse and unhelpful comments, mate. I promise it doesn't hurt...
That’s it, a child doesn’t automatically learn how to grow a pair. Especially if they’re reliant and conditioned. I was at the pool the other day and watched a tall, gangly teen whine and beg for his mothers permission for every move he made. Every move. And she constantly told him no and spoke to him like shit. And he did what he was told. And he should have been so much more independent and everything in me wanted to tell him to stop asking her and just go and do it. But there would be repercussions. Control is a tricky thing, more than a teenager can work out against adults that he relies on.
Go and sit there and wait for him. He would leave the home at some point, get him in your car and drive off with him. Poor guy he is 18 and cries for you. This is so sad. How much are they controlling and abusing him for him to be this way. Also ring police and get a welfare check done on him. Does he live near you.? Try and get him and take off
It really concerns me that at 16 to 18 he lacks the independence to even be able to call you for a chat. Doesn’t that concern you? What is his plans now that he’s an adult? Is it something out of the house? Does he know your number? Do you know you can make free calls from public phone boxes now? He could start to call you on school breaks.
Sounds like they are abusive to him or something. I’m not sure how they can withhold an 18 year old like this where he cries you for you. Does he have any medical issues or is he genuinely distraught and misses you. If it’s the later then I suggest you get a welfare check and ask the police to get his permission to leave them and return to you. Something isn’t right here. He is 18, he is an adult. The poor guy had probably been tormented. How sad
What was the result of court?
Were you given custody back?
Sorry, but there’s something not right here, I think you’ve left out some important info.
Do you really need to know to be able to respond ir are you just being nosey? The question is about controlled phone calls for an 18 year old, court orders are now irrelevant.
It’s hard to give advice on an isolated incident when we don’t know the full situation.
Imagine they hid the child because she was an ice addict or her partner beat her child etc. and then she lost in court.
Oh mama, how awful and heartbreaking.
I would be recording the phone conversations so that you have something to show authorities.
I know some young adults (3 siblings from one family) who are controlled by their "parents" it's horrible! They think they have to answer to them right down to if they are late getting home, the father is calling and abusing them over the phone. They are very slowly seeing the light, but they have each other to lean on, unlike your boy.
Please go and speak with a police officer who specialises in DV. There has to be something that can be done.
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