Hear me out. I'm not trying to be nasty so much as real about how I feel in a world where people still treat having children and their disruptiveness as a something you "can't help." This is why I do not have them myself. I understand if this is grounds for this taken down. Also, this is a generalized statement. I'm sorry if that is offensive, but it is something I've picked up on over my life about parents and children.
Why do parents think they deserve others to make accommodations for them and their children? I always hear "put up with it" "ignore it," etc. when a child is being disruptive or a parent is being disruptive because of their child either in public, in a shared housing unit, or when brining a child into someone else's home.
Why do others have to "put up" with it or make sure the child is "ok"? Shouldn't that be the parents job and no one else's? Sure, parenting is "hard," but that is no reason to expect others to make accommodations. Why should anyone who doesn't know you make special accommodations, especially when you were the one who chose to have children (this doesn't include accidental pregnancies of course)? Why can't parents take responsibility and do what they can to also not inconvenience others with their children, a path they chose to take in life to have them?
21 Replies
Well you can always remove yourself from being in the presence of children, and when it comes to your own home don't have anyone over who has kids to bring. Its Simply solved really.
This is no different to telling women to remove themselves from bars or clubs if thry feel uncomfortable about a mana behaviour. Why should we leave because someones kid is being a nuisance? The nuisance should be stopped
Because children have a right to their place in this world. They’re not just ‘a nuisance’ to you. Very rarely is a child just allowed to be an outright nuisance. I think your expectation of what they are is off, therefore just admit you don’t like children and remove yourself.
I have an elderly relative that would go to McDonald's every Saturday for a coffee. He'd bitch and moan that there was noisy kids running around everywhere, having tantrums etc.
I said to him once after one too many times hearing about it "There's going to be noisy kids at Macca's, either get over it or go elsewhere".
Guess what, now he goes to a quiet little Cafe. He gets the peaceful coffee he wants, unsuspecting kids don't have to be grunted at by a cantankerous old man - everyone wins!
So sometimes it is as simple as removing yourself.
You're not really giving any info on what exactly you're being so inconvenienced? Is it the mere presence of children you don't like? Or normal kid behaviour? If it's either of those you really need some help or move where there's no kids to annoy you. If it's really unruly behaviour that is directly affecting you then be the adult you are and have a chat to the parents.
Wasn't something I expected and it's not something I do. I'm very picky about the kids that come to visit. Spoilt obnoxious kids only get invited once. Kids whose parents don't watch them and they wreck shit don't get invited back. Kids that pester my pets, are rude or insolent. They don't come back. Disruptiveness, not so much. Kids are disruptive. They butt in to say something, they pick flowers without asking, they don't think to not ride their bike past your new car, they want to play with the lawn mower because that's a big boy toy, they whine if they're hungry or thirsty or bored and don't recognise to ask for what they want. Those things are all to be expected and are very easy to manage. I mean you're dealing here with a little human that has to learn and out of the home is a prime time for that.
I understand what you're saying, and as you can see I don't really tolerate much in my own home. I work a lot, home is my peaceful place.
Out and about, you get to choose. Kid at the supermarket throwing a tantrum? Put your headphones in. Olympic sized tantrum? Walk out and go do another errand then come back, or go to different shop. Out to eat? Request a table away from the kids play area, or if there's noisy kids when you arrive save yourself the hassle and order takeaway. If it's your favourite place ask if they have either kid free nights or if there's a day of the week that is usually quieter.
Just as a parent has made their choice to have kids (and I do agree, it was a choice), you do have options too. Exclude those who would foist their children's poor behaviours on to you and expect you to "get over it". They're not your people and that's ok.
I WAS the best parent until I actually had kids 🤣 I can guarantee that in your childhood, you undoubtedly annoyed someone and were a nuisance to someone. It's all a learning experience.
Remember that not every child is neurotypical. Not every child behaves like a circus animal, trained to perform all the time.
I find it's the adults who throw the biggest, most vile tantrums, especially in supermarkets and planes and they don't get a time out or a smack lol
Exactly this!!
This poster out here acting like society doesn't make accommodations for badly behaved adults on the daily.
Because children exist and they’re not little adults, they’re children.
Having said that, I don’t think I expect or get any accommodations from strangers. The best we hope for these days is a smile or people NOT complaining.
You sound like someone without kids that wouldn't list empathy as a skill/attribute on their resume. I think there can be a small number of people that think their children are more important than others. But my thoughts when reading your post was that it seems like the answer to a lot of them is 'because you're expected to act like an adult and good person'. I think you need to just let it go
I use the bus services daily to get to work.
I have never seen a child refuse to pay their fare.
I have never seen a child abuse the driver or other passengers.
I've never seen a child go on a racist or homophobic tirade.
I have never seen a child lay their laptop/briefcase across the seat whilst other passengers stand.
I've never seen a child use vulgar language or sit there having loud, deeply personal conversations on the phone.
I've never seen a child get on the bus drunk and proceed to vomit in the aisle.
I have never been sexually harassed on the bus by a child.
I have seen a few kids have tantrums and I've been on the bus with screaming babies but compared to the shit from adults I have no choice to accommodate, kids don't bother me in the foggiest.
You don’t have children so you wouldn’t understand and no one needs to accommodate my children. I’m not actual sure what your message is in this because it’s sounds like you are attacking all parents. Your message here is pretty obvious that you don’t have kids. I can tell you now, having kids makes you more tolerant and understanding. Having kids is the most precious gift in the world and nothing in life will ever top that! This post is very judgemental. I don’t judge you for not having Kids. We all parent different and no one needs to accomodate my kids. i don’t actually know many parents who do. Maybe it’s where you live or who you hang out with!
You are the type of person that definitely needs kids!
I don’t
I'm not a kid person, to be fair I'm not even much of a people person 😂
But that is in every way, shape and form my issue. I'd love to be able to go out into the public and never encounter anyone or anything I find annoying but that's not going happen so I just have to adapt and be tolerant.
Children have the right to exist, sometimes they are disruptive, loud or even poorly behaved but they are still learning how the world around them works.
In my time, I've seen maybe a small handful of entitled parents who just allow their kids to run wild but for the most part, I find most parents are doing their best.
Most parents don't want special treatment or allowances, they just want a little patience and no judgment.
My younger siblings are around the same age as my kids. I was a teenage mother while my stepmother was in her 30's. We went out for dinner one night, my toddler was in a high chair the entire time while she let hers wander around to do whatever she liked, including going into a cupboard and playing with plates and cups! Whenever we would try and bring her back to the table my stepmother would say no, leave her, if they don't want kids in their cupboard they should lock it. She did the same when I gave birth to my second child and she was babysitting my eldest, brought him into the hospital not long after I had given birth and I was chasing him around the corridors because she had the "he's OK, it's everyone else's problem" mentality, in a hospital! She is the only mother I have ever known to be like that, it really isn't as common as you think which can only mean you're over exaggerating or you think kids acting normally are being disruptive. Kids aren't born knowing how to act in public, it takes years. There are plenty of adults that we have to learn to ignore and accommodate.
You sound like you need kids, to actually show you the hard truth and reality of parenting! wake up to yourself. It’s quite easy to not be around kids. What a sad and lonely life you will end up having being the miserable person that you are about kids! Kids also bring so much fun, love and joy. The things you don’t get to see or experience because you are judgemental and have no idea!
You’re kidding right? I’m not sure what to say here but you have some things to learn when you have kids. You sound so intolerant. I don’t know a single person that has “out of control kids” and expects others to accomodate them. You are the issue and you do realise that you’re on a mother’s forum?
It’s always the ones without kids that have the best parenting tips and the most to say 🙄
People like you inconvenience my kids 🤦🏼♀️ My kids have just as much right as you or anyone else to be seen and heard.
People like that inconvenience ME! I didn’t ask for grumpy strangers opinion because I don’t want, need or deserve to hear it.