We are having heaps of trouble with our oldest & bedtime.
Every single night it’s the same. Has to get up 50 times a night ‘to go to the toilet’, ‘hears noises’ ‘I’ve tried closing my eyes but I just can’t sleep’ after literally 30 seconds of trying.
Now this is 100x worse when it comes to my husband & I trying to spend any sort of time together, whether it’s to just cuddle & watch a movie or ‘adult time😉’
The minute we even look at each other, 8 is standing there ready to complain about something.
We haven’t been able to be physically in over a month now because of this typical bedtime nonsense with 8.
We have tried being sneaky, we have even tried shutting our door which usually leads to kicking, screaming or just opening the door because 8 can. No knocking just walks in. We even try morning time when 8 & the siblings are outside but it’s like 8 knows & there’s knocking at our bedroom window followed with ‘muuummmmm’ or ‘daaddddd’
We have tried reward systems, we have tried flat out tiring 8 out, we have tried bribery (I know it’s wrong but we had to try it) we have tried so many things but nothing changes.
8 is constantly tired. Definitely doesn’t get enough sleep but wont just go to sleep lol.
This has been going on for YEARS now, recently made worse by a trauma of the police coming to our house to inform us of a death in the family to which to swapped 8s room to another room but still isn’t working. We allow 8 to openly speak about the ptsd from that night but once again it doesn’t work.
We are at our wits end with this!
It’s 1am some nights before 8 goes to sleep and I stay awake the entire time so I’m flat out exhausted too. Our 6 & 3 year old don’t even do this.
Any advice on getting 8 to stay in bed!?
5 Replies
My daughter sleeps so much better with a sleeping mask. She says it makes her close her eyes. She’s asleep within 10 minutes if she wears it. Otherwise sometimes she can be awake for an hour staring at the ceiling.
Maybe you need to see your GP and see if there is anything your son can take to get him into a sleeping routine? He’s probably chronically overtired if this has been going on for years.
Off to the GP for a checkup and referral to a psychologist with a mental health care plan. Have you tried playing quiet music or audio books at bedtime? My boys are both teens now but have always had some sort of background noise at bedtime. As babies it was the lullaby on the baby monitor, as toddlers/into early primary it was audio books. As they got older it changed to music. I listen to music in bed. My boys also mostly always had a water bottle beside the bed at night so if they were thirsty they didn’t have to get out of bed, plus they were able to take themselves off to the toilet then get back into bed without needing to talk to me. On the rare occasions they would try staying up later and would constantly come out, I would point in the direction of their bedroom and say ‘bed’, nothing more, no other attention. Also, dusk used to have a ‘calm’ lavender and rose spray that I would spray the rooms with at night to help with relaxation. We now use diffusers in the bedrooms at night with sleep/relaxation blends.
He has anxiety and please don’t force him to go to bed. Instead support him, Lay with him and cuddle him to sleep. I posted a few days ago about my son, who is similar to this. I’m at the point that I need medicine to help him but we have been so regular psychologist appointments and still go. The anxiety at bed time is real and my son will do anything he can to not have to put his head down and sleep. This is when he thinks thinks thinks. Your son needs to see a psychologist. Talk to him and understand him. Ask him what he is afraid of at bed time. Read him a story and just be there to calm his anxiety. It’s tiring so we ended up having our son in bed with us for a long time. I also now get my son up at 6am so after school he is worn out more and by bedtime, it’s getting quicker for him to fall asleep. He will do anything at bed time to avoid it. The things that go through their little heads at bedtime is stuff we wouldn’t ever think of.
Anxiety, take him to a doctor.
As well as a GP due to anxiety look at getting a sleep study done. This can be a great starting point in fixing any physical sleep issues that might be contributing to his anxiety