My husband and I have been sitting on the fence about baby no. 3 since our second daughter was born. We now have a 9 & 5 year old and we feel like this year is our either do or don’t for baby number three. We’re worried about our girls bond and if an extra sibling will change that (even though they’ve been begging for another baby for the past two years), the big age gap (they will be 6 & 10 by the time 3 would come), money (of course) and most of all the thought of juggling it all scares me a little. I own my own business so have no maternity leave but we both work from home and have help around the corner, so we’re lucky. We’re both very content with our little family and can see us being happy like this, BUT it has been a fornightly discussion for the past 5 years and we can’t seem to come to a conclusion if we do or don’t!
Has anyone else had their third baby with this big an age gap? Anyone had babies while juggling a business. Do we or don’t we?
Help a sister out!
12 Replies
I have 3 and my older 2 just adore their younger sister. I am so glad I made this choice for me and our family.
If it’s what you won’t don’t hesitate else you won’t do it or so much time will pass and ad larger gap. Don’t think about it too much. If it happens it won’t be unloved and you manage. We all manage no matter what. Just to with it. I wish I could have another now but I am too old.
I tend to think if you're sitting on the fence, it's better to not.
I know I'd much rather feel a little sad for a baby that never came to be than to regret or struggle to cope with one that did.
Deciding to bring another baby into a family should be 2 strong yes’s from the adults. If it’s not too strong yes’s then it’s a nope, not for us
Kids wanting another sibling don’t get a vote. They don’t do night feeds, shitty nappies and financing for the next 18+ years. It’s like asking for a horse, just cause they want it, doesn’t mean they should get it.
So for me, I’d say your family shouldn’t have another baby.
Wow, youve been discussing this for five years, that’s such a longgggg time. It’s so sad that since the birth of your second child, you’ve been looking at what to do next, rather than just being happy/content with your current lot in life. How do you live like that for five years? If I were you, I would decide either way and put the issue to bed for good. I couldn’t live with that hanging over my head for so long, I’m surprised your partner has continued to engage in the convo. Btw no one can answer this except you and your husband.
5 years has actually gone super quick as I run my own business and life just goes on. We’re super happy with what we have now and enjoying it, also probably why it’s gone on for this long. Definitely not something that is hanging over our heads, more just something that we’ve always looked into the future of and loved the idea of. I’m actually so glad that my husband and I can talk about our feelings that openly as well, to me it means we’re in a good and healthy place and respect each other and our opinions. He’s definitely been just as equally on the fence as me, so it’s both us of not just one sided. Amazing how quickly 5 years goes, but it has and now we’re here 🤷🏼♀️
I couldn’t discuss the same thing every two weeks for five years with no resolution, it would do my head in and I over Analyse/think everything! However, it’s obviously normal for you guys, so I suppose different strokes for different folks. We are all different after all. I have to say that after all those discussions, if you haven’t proceeded, it appears it’s not something either of you actually want. I would put it to bed for good and use all that time/energy to discuss new things.
do it now or never. I think you analyse everything too much. If you are both still talking about it then I’d say go for it. Your older kids will love it.
If you're this unsure after 5 years then I'd say it's not the right thing to do. I would just stick with the 2. Think of it this way, if you liked a guy and he couldn't decide if he wanted to be with you after 5 years you wouldn't waste your time. So if it's not ok for you, it's not ok for your future child either. Don't do that to yourself or your child.
Just go for it!
My first 2 were 6 & 4 when I had baby no3. I knew I wanted a third because I just yearned so bad for so long for no3. I had third baby and felt complete. If you know, you know. There was no hesitation for us.
I have 3 with similar age gaps to your 😊 5 year gap between my 2 girls and then 7 year age gap between my you youngest and middle child. I was very much on the fence about number 3 and I think going from 2-3 was the hardest adjustment but now bub is one and I wouldn't change it for the world. I'd say if you don't do it it sounds like you may regret it later on.