I am a tired mum. Not from a lack of sleep. A year ago a became a full-time single mum. I have my children 100% of the time except when they are in kinder/at school. I have no financial help from there father as child support won't collect due to risk of violence. I don't have support from family who are able to watch my children, my mum has heart failure and both my parents are much older (70's) so are often unable to keep up with 3 young children, understandably. But I am finding I am yelling daily, losing my temper and generally just being very frustrated. The last year has hit me in recent weeks and the fear and anxiety of getting it done is wearing off and now I'm tired. I feel like I do nothing but work and do stuff for the kids so the house runs. I tried to go out with friends on the weekend just for dinner and a drink after the kids were in bed (my parents were baby sitting at my house) but I had to come home an hour later because my 3 year old wanted me. I feel at the end of my rope, I don't feel supported or recognised with the day in day mundane care. I have enrolled in parenting and anger management classes to help me get new skills with parenting but I'm worried it won't help because I'm so burnt out. I don't even have a question. I am just so defeated ATM and needed to express it.
6 Replies
In Australia (if you’re here) you can contact organisations that will take your kids for respite care. I had friends who were put into respite care every second weekend. They stayed with an older couple and loved it.
Do you know what organisations to contact for respite?
Good for you for admitting this and taking steps to get some help. I hope things get better soon. This mum gig a tough some days. We all feel it. It doesn’t help having no support. Hang in there.
It is tough, I'm in a similar situation but have been for a lot longer, you will get there, you just have to find your groove now the get it done phase has worn off. Set strict bedtimes and stick to it so you have your time. Set daily age appropriate tasks for your kids that ease the pressure on you, just the small things: fill up toilet paper, take recycling out, bring empty bins in. They are the little things but all those little things help. Explain to your kids why they are important. You have got this, the fact you care about being a good Mum already shows you are one.
Absolutely near exact same situation except my parents have passed. Really important to try to find friends in similar situation as you can go to the park together while kids play or help each other out with babysitting just make sure you take it in turns. It was like groundhog day. I learnt to skip my eyes over the mess and go for a walk instead and take the pressure off. The best tips I got was to take the kids to the park in the morning to burn them out so then in the afternoon they were more settled and to only do a quick sweep and stop trying to keep on top of the avalanche. Years later and my kids are more independent but I remember what that felt like... please don't isolate yourself from friendships especially if you are a SAHM. One woman put a call out on her local Facebook page and always remember this is only temporary xx
Let yourself be tired. It's OK. You survived, you escaped and you and the kids are safe. That is a huge achievement and you should be proud of yourself. You sound like you have run on adrenaline for so long your body needs a rest.
Contact your local community centre or domestic violence shelter for information on respite services. They should be able to put you in contact with some. Maybe try Find a Grandparent or the Adpot a Grandparent program. You never know what sort of wonderful people you could connect with.
Plod along as long as you need to and let your body and mind recover. Do only what is necessary and everything else can bugger off. Your kids are loved and that is more then alot of kids have. You have got this.