I am so lost... I am booked in for ablation and sterilisation but have been seeing beautiful little princesses and starting to think if I am making the right decision. I was a mum at 16 now 36 with 4 beautiful boys ranging from 19. I am struggling with my surprise baby who has just turned 12mths old.
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It’s just your mind playing tricks on you. The week before my very much wanted tube tying I had the what ifs!
When through with the procedure no regrets.
But let’s think logically here. If you didn’t go through with it, the chances of you coping with a 6th child are low, you are getting older and parenting for over 20 years is a grind for anyone.
The chances of you getting a princess aren’t great either, some people just tend to get one gender.
You could have 3 more babies and not get a girl.
You could get a girl who has remotely no interest in being a princess.
You could get a girl who doesn't even identify as a girl.
I actually know someone who went for baby number 5 because she desperately wanted a girl. She did get her girl, that little girl has a multitude of disabilities and several chronic health issues. She will need lifelong care.
I know that my friend has her regrets.
Sometimes you've just gotta make the choice that is the most sensible.
You have 4 kids already and it sounds like you're stretched fairly thin as it is.
There's a good chance you'll get a granddaughter to spoil one day and there's a good chance you'll get a lovely daughter in law you could create a bond with.
I wonder if we know the same person as I also know someone who had a girl with severe disabilities after 4 sons.
Great advice! We have 3 daughters, and had a wonderful family life with them, did all the things, regardless of their gender. Mind you when our third daughter was born people expressed their sorrow to us, it was offensive as we weren’t sorry, we were relieved after a horror pregnancy, and grateful.
We also found once the girls hit teen years that there were a lot of boys in our lives 😉 and now that they’re adults we have wonderful sons in law, and best of all a grandson!
I wish people would let go of hangups about their kids genders and get on with loving and living! The time just goes SO quickly. The OP is struggling with her 12 month old, don’t make life any harder on the kids she has by pursuing a pipe dream.
With 4 brothers she's probably not going to be very princessy anyway. Keep the booking and wait for granddaughters.
You know what the right decision is. Trust me, having a daughter won't fix all of your problems. It sounds like you're struggling too much already and it's not fair to do that to yourself or your kids. Also what happens if you have another boy? I am a girl with 3 brothers and I HATED it. Brothers can be rough and mean, they aren't always protecters.
You're 36 with 4 kids. You don't need a geriatric pregnancy and all the added risk that comes with that mucking up your world because you are dreaming of a princess. I have a pigeon pair and my husband jokes our daughter is the son he always wanted. She's the one on the tools, she's the one who as a toddler put a bucket on her head, raised a you sword in the air and tried to climb up our deck fencing to step off and fly. She's the one that beats him up as her way of showing her affection for him. Even if you get a girl, she may not be a princess!
NB... My son has no issues with his dad joking about that.... He knows it's tongue in cheek and the 2 of them have very similar senses of humour.
The questions you should be asking yourself are
Is there a medical reason for you to need this done now or can you hold off a year or 2 while you decide?
What are your partners thoughts on another child?
How are you going to feel if the next baby is a boy?
Will you struggle with him like you said you are with the surprise baby?
Is that a physical struggle or mental struggle because of gender disappointment?
A physical struggle would be the same or exasperated with another baby.
A mental struggle because of gender disappointment will be so much harder with another baby
I understand gender disappointment as I had it but I wouldn’t risk my health or my family’s wellbeing for the chance that I could have the gender I wanted.
You need to find a way to be at peace with whatever decision you make, if you’re not already seeing a therapist, I would strongly recommend this because you’re going to need someone to talk to however this pans out
Why did you book it?
Do not go through with it if you have hesitations. If you were always unsure and thinking what if, hold off until you’re sure.
If you booked it because you 100% know this is right for you and your family, then what you have is nerves and then I’d say go through with it.