How do people keep going

Anonymous

How do people keep going

**long rant post***
Trigger warning- suicidal thoughts

How do people do it? My family and i have been homeless since August last year thanks to the rental crisis. We have travelled up and down Australia applying for houses and contacted every help facility we could access. We have suffered over 700 rejections easy, Ive asked real-estates if there's anything wrong with our rental resume and supposedly it's fine, it's more that 2adults and 4kids is a risk factor. We have called every resource possible and still nothing. The cost of living, campsite fees, the car breaking down now, car loan repayments.

We have just found out I'm 6months pregnant after always being careful, I thought it was the stress messing with my periods, also I only had a baby 11months ago. Where we are currently has told us we have until bubs born to find somewhere or they won't be able to keep us here.

We have had offers from friends and family ripped out from us repeatedly, each time destroying us further and further. Imagine having hope in the palm of your hand constantly slapped out of it. Ive become resentful to the people who comment or tell us we just ne d better/different energy, like I'm not going in with everything I've got. That it's our energy output that is failing us.

I'm tired mentally and physically, this pregnancy is making me so sick. Ive always been prone to depression and a small part of me that keeps growing the longer this takes has started thinking about the payout my kids and partner would recieve if I was to have an "accident". My children deserve better than the constant school changes, the inability to barely afford food or toys or books, medications, living in a freaking tent. I don't want to bring a newborn into this, I don't want to bring him home to a tent. My oldest broke down in tears at the thought of having to move and change schools again and then apologised to me for crying, me?!?! I'm the one whose failing him, it killed me to hear him so upset and yet trying to apologize. I know my kids would rather me, I know that I probably wouldn't. But it would just be so much better for them if I did... They would be able to get a house, security, safety. Sometimes I think it would just be worth the sacrifice, that they are worth it. I'm lost and I don't know what to do. I just don't see any options anymore.
They keep saying the rental crisis is only going to get worse cause of the floods and winter is fast approaching, we won't survive a winter in Victoria in a tent

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy, Money

4 Replies

Anonymous

Lie and say you only have 2 kids. I'm a mum of 4 as well so I know exactly what you're facing even though I'm not needing a rental now as we own, when my kids were young we were homeless for 8 weeks because nobody would look at us. I don't think it's wrong to lie in this situation, they should not be rejecting families based on the number of kids it's really wrong. As long as it's big enough and you can afford the rent the number of kids shouldn't matter.

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Anonymous

I have put it down to 3 kids, but still we are just getting told there are more preferential candidates :(

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Anonymous

Nah it wouldn't be better for them.
Money doesn't last for ever. Trauma does. You've got to keep holding your shit together a little longer.

Do either of you work? Can you access an EAP through an employer?

Can you access a super lump sum for hardship?

Have you contacted your local mayor? Member for parliament?
Local media?
Don't see it as embarrassing. See it as putting human faces on a faceless crisis. Be the squeaky wheel.

Have you talked to the kids school?
Can they help with setting you up for distance ed utilising local library facilities instead of constantly changing schools?
If you stick with physical schools can they provide breakfasts and/or lunches?

Do you have a good relationship with your mechanic? I know I've paid parts and bartered labour costs with mine. You don't know if you don't ask.

If it's looking like it won't improve in the short-term invest in a diesel heater and a carbon monoxide detector to get you through winter. Start stashing away some of those large $5 KMart sun visors and when it starts to cool down line the entire tent including the floor with them. They'll stop a heap of the cold coming up. Also tie a large tarp above your tent to keep the worst of the frost off. Kind of like a tropical roof but for cold instead of heat.

I'm sorry you guys have been hit with this and am sorry I can't think of anything else.
Just remember, the resilience you show now will be what your kids remember. That mum (and dad), despite feeling defeated at times never gave in and never gave up.

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Anonymous

Try a cabin in a caravan park. Let husband get it and don’t mention the pregnancy, once you’re in you’re in long term in those places. And if you’re not working you could choose somewhere a bit out of town with nice relaxing surrounds, where people tied to work can’t live. I think it will give you a safe secure place to live and enjoy your newborn and if you fit into the town then a house in town will come up eventually. It’s not so stressful when you have a roof over your head, no matter what that is.
Also, reach out to your midwife for mental health support, you’re dealing with a lot. Good luck xxx

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