I am so over this life,
I honestly think my kids would be better off without me.
When people say their kids don’t get along, times that by 50.
That’s my 2 oldest children (9&6), they constantly hate each other, like I don’t remember a time they were nice to each other.
Hitting, biting, punching, slapping, using weapons, everything..
And then there’s my baby, he’s 6 months old my ray of sunshine, and I can not leave him alone with his siblings.
Today my ADHD child put hand wash in babys mouth and locked him in a wardrobe.
I legit went to the mailbox.
I don’t want to be here, and I want my children seperated.
I work hard to provide, their father is fly in fly out (no help) but in saying that, if I told him where I’m at he would be on the first flight.
The children are in activities to keep them busy.
I am fading away.
The children don’t understand, they don’t want to understand. They simply don’t care.
My ADHD is medicated, but will break me daily, I burst into tears tonight on the lounge room floor once everyone was asleep, he fights me because he doesn’t know if he wants his blanket on or not and when I walk away he will punch the walls, tell me I’m a f***ing b*tch and to put his blanket on, only for him to throw it on the floor.
The other night he ran into sleeping babies room and throw a basketball on him, for no reason.
I’ve tried consequences/punishment/ignoring them, everything.
I can’t do it anymore. :(
Is it fair to say, I love my children, individually!
But hate spending time as a family.
I don’t want them to be best friends, I just want them to be able to walk past each other.
I don’t think I want to leave this planet, I want to put baby in the car leave my phone at home and drive, and not come back.
Sorry for the rant….
6 Replies
Ok firstly you need to tell your husband. You also need to ring and speak to someone about getting support for yourself and your child harming your baby. Start with your Dr
Your husband may need to take some time off work fifo. I have lived this fifo life raising 3 kids and it’s bloody hard. Then you have the extra stress of ADHD.
Ask your husband to take his next swing off, so he has extra time home with you. You need a break and he needs to help get your sons sorted out.
Go to your Dr and get referred to child psychologist, they are amazing and will help.
I have taken my son to one and I have seen one for myself. FIFO life doesn’t help the situation. It’s lonely and can be depressing at the best of times.
Have you got somewhere that can come and stay with you, to help? Or you can send one of your boys too.?
I didn’t have anyone to help me, there was no break and everyday was a struggle. I would then get more upset because I had no one. I turned to my Dr and psychologists. I also spent a lot of time at play cafes, where the kids could run and burn that energy off and I spent time with my baby. It was the most peace I had.
In the end after 5 years of fifo, my husband and I decided that he wouldn’t do fifo anymore. It made a huge difference.
Hang in there, things do get better once they are a bit older. Let them see you cry and let them see how much it’s affecting you. take the baby in your bedroom and shut the door if need be. Just to have some time out.
I know how you feel and so do many of us parents who are at home. It’s mentally exhausting.
Things are easier for me now that my son is a bit older, I just leave him home now and put my other 2 kids in the car if they get bad. We go for a short drive for 20 mins or so and it breaks it. We come back and he’s a different kid and forgotten about what they were fighting over. It’s just easier than staying home and me yelling.
Hang in there it will get better as they get older.
Sounds like there is something more than ADHD (medicated). His medication is not working and he clearly needs some therapy. He is not dealing with life.
You need help too, medication and or counselling.
This is all fixable, your children need help though.
Take the baby to a doctor for a checkup and TELL them what happened. Tell them you can’t cope with this and don’t know how and are worried. This will get the ball rolling for you.
It does get better… but you need some help and support… can Husband come home for a bit? Doctor and psychologist. Can anyone like a parent or sibling come help you in the home for a bit. You sound exhausted.
I hear you. I see you. Being a FIFO mum with an angry son is hell.
Maybe you could spend a stint in hospital in a mother baby unit to get some medication and counselling and get hubby to stay home with the older two and see what he thinks about their behaviour.
It’s so hard to put yourself first but it sounds like you have to.
I know it’s tempting to focus on throwing your son into therapies but you need a break dear one.
Thank you so much for reaching out
Maybe your husband needs to stop fifo so he is there to help you raise them.
ADHD child may have other mental health issues that need to be assessed and diagnosed and maybe a better form of medication to treat issues, doesn't seem the one they are one is helping overall.
You almost need someone like that British nany lady that comes and helps manage kids behaviours, not sure if there is such a person outside of TV world but if there is a family behaviour counsellor or something like that, maybe that would help?