My son is 6 years old and will turn aggressive and emotional if me and his father are affectionate in anyway, even saying I love you to each other before he leaves for work. I can’t remember a time where we were able to kiss each other goodbye or just kiss to show each other affection without being secretive about it. Because of our son catches us he throws punches, smashes things and runs into his bedroom or runs away outside and says really hurtful things. We’ve tried sitting down talking to him explaining if we didn’t show affection what could happen to our relationship but he literally says good you should divorce! Does my son need therapy? Or will he grow out of it? Has anyone else been through this?
My son hates seeing affection between husband & I
My son hates seeing affection between husband & I
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour, Kids
8 Replies
I’d be talking to a therapist. His reaction is extreme, to something that is very normal behaviour for most parents.
While it is a normal developmental stage in kids, your sons reactions are quite extreme and lasting which makes it a concern. I agree with the first commenter, you should seek professional help for your son. Best of luck mumma x
Your son needs a child psychologist. Also please speak to him on your own and ask him if anyone has touched him or asked him to keep secrets. That would be my first thing striaght away. It’s prob way off but it doesn’t matter. Rule it out. You can never be too careful. Ask your dr for a referral to a child psych he needs help sorting through why he is reacting this way. He probably doesn’t understand why but they will help him and get him to understand. They get to to bottom of it and his thoughts when he sees this. For what we may think, could be way off of what he is actually thinking. He could relating it to anything and lashing out.
He needs a psychologist . This is very extreme behaviour. Speak to him alone and talk with him about this to make sure nothing has happened to him. Do not tell anyone, not even your husband. ask him what makes him feel so uncomfortable to sad about it. Ask him to draw, anything that he can express why he is doing this.
My kids would hide their eyes or cover their face and say ewww but never anything this extreme.
Is it only this that he acts in this way or is there other things that make him this angry.?
Short answer, yes. Professional intervention is a must at this point.
I don't expect you to divulge to any of these answers to us but I have some questions I think you should think about in the meantime:
How does your son accept touch and affection if he's on the receiving end, from you and his dad and just in a general sense? Is that something he avoids or reacts adversely to? Or does he happily accept hugs and kisses?
Does he struggle to regulate his emotions in other situations?
Does he react this way if he sees other people show each other affection, parents on a TV show or grandparents for example?
Does he react this way if anyone other than your husband hugs or kisses you? Say your dad, brother or uncle gave you a big hug, would he flip or would he be okay?
Same deal in reverse, how would he be if dad received hugs from women other than you?
Truthfully, and again, you don't need to answer this to me, is there or has there ever been any abuse or DV in the home?
Is there any other behaviour that you think could be related to this?
Our 6 year old loves cuddles and kisses, he is I would say very affectionate towards husband and I as well as his younger siblings. He doesn’t show any anger towards a grandparent kissing us or hugging of friends only his father and I can’t!
No DV in the house hold, just your usual marriage, family arguments sometimes have gotten heated with yelling and slamming doors ect!
He has watched movies where they show affection and he doesn’t seem bothered by that either. He has been like this since the age of 3 or 4 I think.
All of the above. Also, is there a new baby in the house, or anything else stressful going on that's making him feel like he's losing attention on himself, or he might be insecure about? New jobs, new house, new school?
He is a loving, caring and affectionate brother to his younger sibling and his father and I. My youngest just turned 1. He doesn’t mind at all when grandparents kiss and hug or anyone else to be honest just my husband and I.