*Trigger warning*
There are a few details that could upset.
Late last year I found out my husband was sexual abusing our daughter, it didn't involve intercourse but what has been said it was definitely leading to it.
He put his finger in bum and was rubbing himself on her aswel as touching her vagina.
We made statements and he is currently out on bail till his case is set for God knows when. I've been told it is now in the hands of the DPP and could take other 6months or more.
My question is the last I heard he had 4 counts of sexual abuse towards his daughter. Would any other charges be there like incest etc?
Would there be convictions recorded?
Has anyone gone through this and the person got jail?
I don't know why but the last few day's it's really been playing on my mind about it all and everything and I'm worried he will get away with it as he may be pleading mental health or he won't get as much time away.
My daughter is coping better then what she was with some amazing support from people who are trained in this field and from the support of family and friends. We are also involved with a group called PACT who will support my daughter while in court.
I think I'm just worried because he is out living his life atm with bail conditions of course and yet here I am picking up the pieces and I know once court comes it could really bring my mental health and our children's mental health to a low especially if he gets away or minimum jail time.
The police have said they 100% believe my daughter that it happened but qere very shocked that he got bail.
23 Replies
This so sad sickening and sad. Your poor little girl. I don’t have any advice but you are doing amazing supporting her through this and have done all the right things. my thoughts are with you and your family. No sentence will ever be long enough for him. Keep strong Mumma 💕
Your 100% right! No sentence will ever be long enough.
Keeping as strong as I can atm.
I hate to say it, but what you have described is pretty much the norm for these cases. 'hear say' is the hardest thing to prove in court and that's mainly what these cases are. He can always try for mental health court but I highly doubt it will even be considered
I hope not. They have some evidence from my statement and a Facebook recording which says his sorry for what he has done but the police said because he didn't actually say her name they unsure if it can be used
I'm so angry that this happened to your daughter, a lifetime in prison isn't even enough of a punishment for people who victimise children in this manner.
Hopefully living with what he's done torments him every waking minute for the rest of his days.
I think you may need to start emotionally preparing yourself for the possibility of a minimal sentence though. I would be surprised if he serves more than a few years in jail and I wouldn't be remotely surprised if he is sentenced to something like in home detention.
I assume you have some kind of legal representation or case workers here? I'd ask them point blank what kind of sentencing at best and at worst that you should expect.
Either way, you keep being strong mama. You're all going to come out the other side of this one day and I wish you all the best in healing.
Thank you.
I definitely feel it won't be what he deserves but hoping for some sort of sentence for my daughter.
Fingers crossed the justice system doesn't let her down ❤
I recently listened to a podcast called The Deep season 3, episode 10 called a Parents Worst Nightmare. While I don’t have any personal experience, I found this episode incredible - a parent explains their journey through this same situation including the justice system. There is a follow up episode also season 7, episode 3. It’s a very tough and sad situation. I wish you and your daughter all the best x
My sisters husband got 7 years and 3mths jail for rape, producing child exploitation material and indecent assault.
I believe there may have been a charge similar to incest but it didn’t use that term, I think it was ‘lineal descendant’ though.
This sentence was for penal rape and production of child exploitation material, sexual abuse was over a period of 3 years. The judge gave a ‘lessor’ sentence because he didn’t use ‘violence’ (vomit) towards the child.
The only reason he ended up jailed is solely because of the video footage he’d taken (and my sister destroyed) but the police were able to retrieve it from the computer anyway.
Right until the last minute that man denied sexually abuse and said the child was lying. Of course story changed when they said they’d retrieve the footage.
Yeah because he didn't make her perform anything or insert his punishment I guess he won't get as much but the sentencing is bullshit.
We are unsure if he is going to plead guilty or not.
We were told by the police that only 1% of offenders are actually prosecuted when there is not a lot of evidence and it’s ‘his’ word vs the young persons word.
It’s disgusting. I hope you guys make it though this and he gets the sentence he deserves.
I also hope the police we spoke to had the incorrect statistics because 1% is such a low number 🥺
I hope where the justice system (what a fucking joke that is) let's her down, nature takes the reigns.
You know those awful illnesses - "I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy" type stuff.. I hope he gets all of them.
Teach your daughter about the sisterhood. How the right women will cradle her in her pain and uplift her when she's low. How society has a skewed vision of justice but love and support will give her the ultimate revenge, peace within her mind and body.
My uncle is about to get out of prison this week.
He got 18 months, he was taken straight to prison no explanation.
I found out because I suspected it was, such a dramatic way to go to prison.
He was in my mothers house at the time.
He abused me as a child, I contacted his daughters mother.
Personally I think 18 months is an insult to a little girl who has to deal with his actions.
Police said it wasn’t worth me digging up old memories for little consequence.
I don’t normally condone vigilanteism but I wish there was a real life vigilante to make this problem go away for you
Could take many years at the moment the courts are horribly slow. Complete an application with victims of crime and they will help guide you the rest of the way through it. Still waiting for our case to be finalised but thankfully after the last court hearing he was denied bail now just awaiting a sentencing date but it’s already been 6 months. Good luck and and I am so sorry this has happened to you and your daughter.
This happened with my step daughter. It was her maternal grandmother's boyfriend, who also happened to be her step dads brother. (confusing I know).
Her mother and stepfather didn't believe her but my husband and I did.
It went to court. He was found guilty on 3 counts of penetration of a minor under 12 and 4 counts of sexual assault of a minor under 12.
He got 3 years jail and was out in 18 months on good behaviour.
The consequences aren't nearly severe enough as far as I am concerned.
My ex not the father of my child who he sexually abused was charged with two counts of indecent assault of a child under 16 under 12. It took 3 years to get to court. He was found guilty on both accounts and was sentenced to 9 months in prison for one charge and 12 months in prison for the second charge. He only had to serve 6 months. He also appealed his verdict with the high court in Brisbane and it was dismissed. He is now a registered sex offender. The whole system definitely sucks and your life feels like it’s on hold until you eventually get to court only to hear that they get a pity full sentence for taking away the innocence of a child. All I can say is surround your self now with the right people and build your strength up because you’ll need it but you will get through it.
Ours took 3 years to get to trial to. It's been 14 months since that and we are still waiting for the appeal process. He wasn't even put in jail, it's an absolute joke. And it's so true that your life feels like it's on hold. (In Brisbane too)
I am going through this at the moment with my fiancé. He has been accused of doing some things to my Children no penetration just touching ( aged 15 and 17). I don’t think he is capable of doing such things to them. This has come to light in the last year and with no exact dates which leads me to my conclusion. I haven’t spoken to my children in over 12 months and we have been to court already 4 times with another court date in June then we go to trail but the waiting time for court is 18 months. He is out on bail but he has strict instructions not to go within the cbd unless he has a medical reasons. Please no hate.
There’s obviously way more to your story and without any context you will absolutely get hate. All this says is that You’re choosing your partner over your children by saying they’re both lying and he’s not , because there’s no exact dates . you should remove this comment . This doesn’t help the poster at all all and as I said , you’ll get hate .
Just touching? Omg. That's so horrible. This is lifelong trauma. It doesn't matter what part of his body he inflicts on children to abuse them. Why would someone make that up? Two of them? The percentage of people who make up sexual abuse as so so tiny compared to the reality. It's a total myth that protects abusers. 1 in 5 women in Australia has experienced sexual abuse. No exact dates has nothing to do with anything. Please read into trauma and sexual assault- memory can be affected. I'm so sorry he's sucked you in and I really hope you don't allow him to have any contact with any children. Please think about whether you would want lose contact with your children to be with this man. I know it's hard, because you obviously love him, but isn't your first duty to your children, who you brought into this world? You know, not believing them is likely to have a massive impact on their recovery from abuse. Reach out to a support group like PartnerSPEAK who support partners of people who have sexually abused others to help you decide what to do. I hope you choose to protect.
Be prepared for it to take a ridiculous amount of time for the whole court process. If found guilty he will serve time. The court process is horrible. Also be prepared for an appeal, which will drag it out even longer. Oh, and a sentence that will be nowhere near adequate.
Im a lawyer, it sounds like you’re in QLD as you have referenced PACT so I base this advice on that inference. Child sex offenders must receive a term of actual imprisonment unless there are “exceptional circumstances”. With what you have described it doesn’t sound like there would be. Convictions are recorded as a matter of course if a jail term is imposed and that also includes being a reportable offender.
You should touch base with the victim liaison officer at the DPP and they’ll assist if you have questions about the process. A crown prosecutor will be able to advise you of the legal process and penalties will they have prepared the file.
Good luck