Hi Sisterhood, I am hoping someone else can relate to what I am feeling or has experienced this.
When I was in school, I always felt left out. I would hear of sleepovers on the weekends with the other girls in my grade and be sad because i was not included. They all had close friendships and I was always the tag along or never included.
Fast forward to present time, and I am feeling extremely emotional and invested in my daughters friendships... almost trying to ensure that she is not experiencing and feeling what I did at the same age.
I feel anxious for her if she plays alone at school or I feel heartbroken for her when I hear of a birthday party and know that she was not invited, but I shouldn't feel this way because my daughter does have friends and seems happy and included. It is almost like I am suffering some form of something because I felt so rejected at the same age... Can anyone else relate?
Daughter and friendships
Daughter and friendships
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Behaviour, Kids
3 Replies
I think most parents worry to an extent about their child's social development - it's normal to want your child to fit in, be accepted and be content.
In saying that, it seems to be really affecting you to a point it's not healthy so I would actually consider speaking to someone about it.
This exact issue nearly destroyed a friendship between my best friend and I. We each have daughters the same age/same school and she was just so invested in their friendship. My poor daughter felt stifled and I was getting pissed that my daughter always seemed to be getting labelled a bully or a bad friend all because she didn't give my friends daughter 100% of her attention 100% of the time.
Our girls aren't really friends anymore and our friendship definitely took a hit.
My point is, don't let it get to this point because your issues can inadvertently create those same issues in your daughter and trust me when I say she'll need you to be strong and resilient once she starts high school.
I totally get that. I have one child who is a social butterfly and another who has maybe 2-3 friends. You can’t help but use your own experiences to try and guide/help them so they don’t end up feeling what you felt. I felt invisible at school and it was awful. I always use to find myself telling my daughter to “make as many friends as possible” all because I never wanted her to be left out or alone.
However, similar to your child, she seems happy and content with her little group so I’ve learnt to leave her be.
Very normal especially when you know how it feels so you’ll try and stop her ever feeling that. You’re a good mumma.
Sadly I did the same and tried so much to help my daughters friendships and bent over backwards for them all, and in the end most just shit on her anyway and she was left hurt again. So now I let it go and she’s become her own person. She doesn’t take crap, she doesn’t let little things bother her. If she’s not good enough for someone, they ain’t good enough for her.