TW - mass shooting (US)
I'm writing to put a voice to the words in my head.
Tonight my partner and I finally talked about the recent shooting. I'm a mother of two, 1yo & 3yo. Living in Aus, so far from this event.
I heard it first on the radio and sat in the car crying and grieving. Tonight I finally read the articles and watched the politics. We couldn't bring ourselves to talk about the children though.
I'm struggling inside. How do you ever begin to process this?
I can't help but let my mind slip to the worst thoughts. I wonder if their deaths were quick. I think about how badly they would have wanted their mum and dad. These thoughts are like a dagger and it kills me inside. How do you stop unwanted thoughts like this, when they do nothing but harm?
I've been medicated for depression and anxiety for most of my life and it's a daily battle. But this battle against the un wanted and horrible thoughts is losing. Is it anxiety?
How do you all process events and news like this?
My love for the families grieving. I can't begin to find words for them to ease their pain.
3 Replies
I think you need emotional support from some councilling. These feelings of hopelessness need addressing
Are seeing a psychologist? I think you need to asap if you aren't. This traumatic news is devastating and has a huge ripple effect on the world, however its clearly impacting you deeply. I assume this is reoccurring with distressing content on the news? You need to learn coping mechanisms when you have these feelings, which is where a psychologist will help.
Also, you do need to take care of yourself, which is often why such news has a viewer discretion warning and you are invited to not engage. That does not make you less empathetic or a sub human to not take in thr details of a distressing event.
I think you just have to accept that it's an incomprehensible tragedy and try to move forward. Because how do you process a school shooting? How do you make sense of something that goes so far against nature?
I personally try not to think about it because it makes me angry. Angry because as an Australian I can't do a damn thing about it but watch on in horror every time this happens!
It probably would be a good idea to speak to your psych about some coping tools, just so you don't slip down that rabbit hole of intrusive and distressing thoughts. I have also found limiting my TV news intake and unfollowing all news outlets on facebook/insta helps with my inner peace because the media is part of the problem with the way they report about these issues. They often release quite distressing details that really don't need to be public knowledge or they repeat the stories relentlessly so you can't escape it.