Stubborn teen......
Last year we chatted with our kids about when they start work full time they pay $120 a week- $100 goes into a savings we hold for them till they move out or house deposit, car etc, $20 towards food.....
This has worked well and never been an issue since one has been working for a while now.
Yesterday I was chatting to one of my teens about savings etc.... and they stated that they don’t want the extra savings back, they will not take it and is very stubborn about it even though it was what we had discussed previously.... opinion being... “it helps with food water electricity and everything”
Do I just let it go and leave the money there as I’ve made it very clear it will stay there for one day if they need it in an emergency or do I say anything else (I have suggested the payment stop and save in own bank account from now which is an outright no, “wants to pay toward everything “)
I know my kids time at home will end, so not going to pick an argument as they are very stubborn when have decided what they want.
14 Replies
If you don't need the money for the household, use it to buy them furniture etc when they move out of home. That's what my Mum did :-)
Or save it for a rainy day - at some point in their adult life, they'll need it.
Or again, in later life, buy them something ridiculously extravagant that they want and can't afford. Like a diamond earrings or expensive handbag etc.
This was what I suggested.... and got an “no, I work and I’m saving” “and I’ll give you the money back if you try”
Very stubborn child, I have sent a text this morn stating that the money will always be there incase of emergency .... typical teen at work hasn’t responded lmao. it’s so hard as they are now an adult and I want to respect that, but this money was always meant for them, but this one has always been so independent and stubborn
instead of taking 100 a week from your adult children and making it enforced savings, you should be encouraging them to do it independently.
Set up an investment, a diversified managed fund or high interest earning cash account and get them to budget and consider what they can afford to save. Set up a direct debit for the amount etc. let them watch their savings grow with compound interest. i mean where are you putting their money, is it growing at all?
they aren't really learning anything when the savings are enforced.
Give it back to them whether they like it or not, if that's what was done with the other kids.
I don't agree with forced savings for teenagers, they have to learn to have control and budget and save themselves before they reach 18 not after.
Always been a saver.... this was to teach them there are bills like rent etc as an adult.... but would he saved for them as we don’t want to keep the money
Your young adult knows what it costs to have them live there & is contributing without being asked. If they're saving independently you need not worry. Let them be an independent, responsible adult, and be proud, rather than calling them stubborn.
I'd still put it quietly in an account or investment for when they need it travel/car/house/wedding etc. They might be grateful for it then!
Thank you.... I am going to defiantly look at it that way... he is a good young man and always helps without asking twice I just was frustrated as I had always wanted them to know this money was theirs.... but wanted them to have to learn paying a weekly amount was normal in life.... if that makes sense... he saves a lot of his income as he has no other major expenses .... and yes I will def be keeping it there for the “one day or emergency “
Respect there independence and hold on to the money just in case. But don’t bring it up otherwise
I won’t bring it up again.... it will slowly grow for him ..... independence is a big thing he is striving for and we are respecting that in every way we can..... inside it’s taking me a little longer to let go 🤣
Don't bother fighting that battle now. It can help them with something down the track. They'll be in a position to be pleased it's there eventually
Independence is a high value trait to them, they want to be able to truly say they paid their way and did it all on their own. I would honour that by keeping the money and consider this kid has paid full board and bills. It’s still something you can think of, if they ever need help, that they put in more than when they can. But I wouldn’t keep that total amount as their money after they’ve said not to, it will annoy them because it’s a matter of principle.
I think this is showing great respect towards you and responsibility. You should be proud. They’re making a responsible decision then let them. If you choose you can still put the money away and gift it as a wedding gift or something when the time is right.
I think keep it until ready to move on as they will mature & have a change of mind
I'd be grateful if my mom did this when I was working ft