I’m a mum of 7…. And I love my kids with all my heart . They are my world! But I’m tired, I don’t know myself and feel over used!
Am I the only one that feels this way….I feel bad that I feel this way ,
Exhausted, lost, useless, worthless, over worked and and just done with life…
Done with my life!
Done with my life!
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Kids, Teenagers
9 Replies
Holy shit you’re a mum of seven! I think this feeling would be absolutely to be expected. Mums of one and two feel this, let alone the constant-ness that must come with seven.
My advice would be to make the time outs that you need. Make sure you are having time to do the things you enjoy, and just have time when you’re not needed. Make sure you have things to look forward to. Get help to get the basic jobs done. Set up a routine that works for you. Pay if you need to, to take away the most stressful chores.
And if you still feel this way, see a gp for a mental health plan. It’s stressful but no matter what it shouldn’t drown you.
And I don’t know their ages, and I know this feels stupid when they’re babies and there’s years to go, but remember they do grow up, go to school, stay home alone, so it is not permanent, step by step you’ll get yourself back.
If i had 7 kids, I would feel exactly the same.
I guess you have to accept this is the path you chose and get through it the best way possible.
Depending on their ages of-course, try to prioritise yourself and carve out some time each week to do something that fills your cup i.e. a hobby, learning a new skill, buying your fav food and sitting on the beach alone, have a few wines with a friend etc.
This will allow you to decompress and give you something to look forward to.
As they get older, you could increase the number of breaks you get throughout the week.
You should also maybe aim for a trip away without kids once a year, with your partner if you have one, would do wonders for your soul.
Also a mum of 7. Aged 20 to 3 years.
I also feel very tired… 2 of the kids have disability, one requiring 24hr support… throw in working 24hrs a week and also very very single and the only way I get though it each day is by order and routine.
All my kids have jobs (age appropriately) and help out, even the 3 year old empties his dinner plate and puts it into the dishwasher (with support) ever night.
I don’t see any friends, the bigger kids dad sees them one day a fortnight (just for the day), the younger 2 see their dad almost every day for an hour or so (he does their shower and gets them into bed).
It does get easier as they get older. My eldest will watch the kids if she’s not working and someone’s sick so I can go to work (she’s done it twice in 12mths).
I work 3 days a week, but have the little ones booked into daycare for 4 days so I have a day to do my own thing. It’s a little expensive, but I’ll only have 1 in daycare as of next year.
I found getting a job was better for my mental health - gives me adult time without the drain of having to entertain people. Helped me reconnect with who I am (or want to be).
What you’re feeling is absolutely normal for a large family, and if you’re doing it alone then that just makes it all the more harder. But don’t give up. One day at a time, let things slide and have yourself a good routine for you and the kids and as the days slip into years you’ll find you again ❤️
I'm a mum and full time step mum. We have 6 kids in total. Parenting, weather it's 1 or 10, sucks the life out of us, because as mother's, we put ourselves last and after a while, it's second nature to just forget about one's self. You need a break, badly
Being a mum is freaken hard we never get to just switch off. We are on mum duty 24/7. Sometimes we need to just have a break even it’s it’s for a few hours . Putting yourself first some times is essential. Wether it be just turn your phone off and going for a coffee or read a book under a tree what ever you thing is do it schedule me time at least once a month. Turn the phone off and say I’m unavailable for the next x amount of time.
Definitely not the only one. Being a mum is dam hard. As of mum of younger and adult children I can totally empathise with what you are saying. I try my dammed hardest to make sure my children don’t struggle including my adult children, how ever it has come at the expense of losing myself and being done with it all. I love my kids more than life it’s self but I’m exhausted. Im emotionally and mentally drained and constantly feel like I am not appreciated but more so that I am being taken for granted.
The only piece of advice that I could probably suggest, would be to make time for yourself. Get out for a coffee with friends, find a hobby that you can do once a week if you are able to. Go for a run or a walk. I know this can be hard as I myself can never find the time to do anything (when I finally get time I’m just so exhausted I don’t have the energy to deal with doing anything)
Maybe see a gp and discuss with them the way you are feeling. Hang in there mumma you’ve got this.
I have 7 kids too and I'm constantly exhausted and feel just like you most of the time. It's so hard , I don't really have any advice but sympathize with you.
Yep i think all mothers go through those stages.
Home maker, lover, mum, friend , worker - we have so many rolls that we have to do and most of the time with very little help. You need to stand up for yourself and ask for help. 7 kids is alot , that is a lot of work just in that.
Speak up, ask for help, don't just take the burden all on yourself.
I am a Mum of 7, I have been right where you are right now... how old are your children? Do you have support? If you have support thay is willing to give you at least 1 day a fortnight (every 2 weeks) to yourself without your kids to do what ever the freck you feel like doing then take it with open arms do not take advantage but appreciate it because I can guarantee that taking even that small amount of time to yourself can make things so much easier to deal with you will be much more calm with your kids and partner and other people friends family or strangers around you. "ME" time is important you can not adequately look after everyone else if you do not take the time yo look after yourself. I have only just discovered this in the last month when my eldest son (18yo) gained employment t and I now have to travel 5 days a fortnight to take him to work and decided that I would pay for a yearly pass to the amusement park he works at simply to save on fuel costs and I take at least 2 of those days (as they are only 3 to 4 hour shifts) to wander the park and enjoy my favourite parts all by myself in my own time without any kids hanging off me and I can't even hear my phone so anything that isn't important simply goes unanswered and if it is they will continue to try and contact me or any of the other emergency contacts thay ibhave left with the schools hubbies work or anything else I try to listen out for my phone but sometimes I miss calls because there is so much noise and activity but I know each and every member of my family has support help and care no matter how long (o check my phone like every 15min btw cause I'm paranoid lol) it takes me to realise I have missed calls or unanswered or unread msgs . And I feel 109% better than I did 4 months ago mentally, emotionally and physically. It is amazing what that time has done for me after over 18 years of not being me for me