I have two kids week on week off. Hubby has two kids that live with us full time and another that comes over every second weekend.
The weekends we have all kids we can’t do much as his young one is 5 and I don’t want to be rude but is a sook. Won’t go to the beach, won’t swim, won’t walk, won’t fish. Wants to stay in his room watching Netflix all day which hubby happily allows and uses as a babysitting tool.
Weekends when we just have Hubbys kids 15 and 13 we do what they want. Fish, kayak, swim, beach, bushwalk etc etc.
How do I get my partner to see that this is not fair to my kids. We do nothing with just them and nothing when they are over.
He says “it’s not my fault they have to go back to their dads”.
I am over everything being about them and I am over having his kids in my house 24/7. It’s my ”job” to get them ready for school every single day before I go to work in a demanding job myself.
I am just over it all! A few weeks we went away just hubby and I and it was amazing. He was back to the guy I first met.
Now he’s back to the abusive, controlling arrogant person he has become around his children. I ask him to get his kids to do jobs and they don’t. I get mine to do jobs which they do. Mine then ask why are his kids not punished when mine get no internet if they haven’t completed their jobs.
How can I kick him out when I know there are no rentals and he has no family support
Help with kids/hubby
Help with kids/hubby
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
8 Replies
You give him a timeframe and it's up to him to meet it. You tell him you're done with the relationship, that it was a mistake to move in together, and you want him to leave.
Now I've heard a lot about the rental crisis, but have you actually looked? I'm in Brisbane, and there's actually a fair amount of apartments available. Not big houses, but apartments are fine. We got one within a week of looking.
Sure a 2 bed apartment might suck with two teenage boys, but it's doable until something better comes along.
You don't have to live your own life in misery because he *might* have problems.
He sounds like a complete asshole. It's not "your job" to parent his kids at all, unless you were on the same page about it before they moved in.
This is a pattern I've seen with a lot of blended families, including amongst my friends - as soon as there's a woman in the house to take care of things, the previously excellent father drops his load completely & it's all on her.
It's just not ok.
Why are his kids your job?
Something is wrong for that little 5year old to not be active and inquisitive and playful. They don’t live with their older siblings so I am guessing they have been through a huge change in their life and coming to dad and a house of teens is odd - and almost like they are being treated like a teen and left to veg in their room on a screen all weekend.
Anyway his kids are his problem - your kids are your problem. My advice to you is to stop parenting his kids, that is not your job. Stop the mornings, that’s his job. And start parenting your own. Take them out, do things they enjoy, make life for them how you want it.
If he won’t get on board with either parenting his own kids, not expecting you to parent his kids, or making any effort to your kids, then you need to look at your relationship standards.
Boot him. This is the same guy that doesn't pay for anything? Why is he still there? Honestly tell him to get out.
Yep
Why is it ‘your job’?!. This whole set up needs reevaluating - put boundaries in place and if your house mate doesn’t lift his game then I would kick him out.
There are rentals. You can’t keep him as your problem just because he’s too useless to make it alone. He’s an adult. My friends have all had to move through this crisis and have all found rentals.
This makes me so mad!! Why are you expected to get his kids ready for school?! Not your job. And on the weekends your kids are there, leave him & take them out! Put your little family first!
Just tell him you no longer will be doing anything for his kids, for starters they’re old enough to get themselves ready for school, and if he doesn’t like it tell him to get out. You’re done. And like others have said, YOU take your kids out on weekends, leave him home with his kids to look after. Enjoy your kids while they’re young